


Sins of the Father

by pastelswitchblade



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE, NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Childhood Friends, Coffee Shops, Corruption, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gangs, Gay Bar, Gen, LuTen, M/M, Mafia NCT, Military, Military Academy, Multi, Organized Crime, Pining, Police, School Uniforms, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelswitchblade/pseuds/pastelswitchblade
Summary: Childhood friends Yukhei and Yuqi meet a mysterious older boy at the Leadership Academy who changes their lives forever.





	1. First Blood

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was a request from a friend so i hope you like it carr <3 another gang related au because i have one (1) interest

They met on an August day.

The heat and smog hung heavy in the air. No one wanted to touch the playground, the old rusty metal hot enough to burn flesh. Xuxi never really minded the heat. The summer sun felt like a warm hug that went on for hours. It meant he could play outside with his friends forever, as long as the cicadas sang. Until the sun went home, and so did he.

He was only six, so he had to go home when the sun did. It wasn’t fair; his dad had friends in suits that stayed with him all day, so why couldn’t he stay out longer? He was never really alone. He couldn’t wait until he was ten. That’s when his dad said he could stay out longer, as long as his suit friends stayed with him. Xuxi got mad just thinking about how long four years was. A lifetime!

He got so mad that he kicked the ball super hard on accident. It soared over his friends heads as they watched it with awe. Xuxi wished he could fly like that; far above the heads of his friends, the park, far away where even his dad couldn’t find him...until it started to fall towards another kid’s head.

She had been playing the sandbox, her fancy skirt nearly buried in the cool sand. Xuxi tried to yell, “Look out!” But it was too late. She looked up just in time for the ball to crack right into her nose. She fell over, and Xuxi saw the suited men running towards her. He didn’t recognize one of them. It didn’t matter; Xuxi was a really fast runner. He got to her before anyone else. “Are you okay? I kicked it really hard!” He saw her shoulders shake and gasped as she looked up at him. Blood was oozing slowly from her nose, and Xuxi wanted it to stop. He’d seen blood before, but never out of there. What if her brain fell out? Her shoulders kept shaking, but as she opened her mouth, she smiled. Sand stuck between her teeth and crusted over her upper lip as it mixed with her blood. She laughed. She laughed and laughed, a big giggle that made her eyes all squinty. Xuxi was sure her brain must have already fallen out.

“Ouch!” She yelled. “You hit me, but I didn’t hit you! You did something bad!” As the suited men approached, her eyes went wide. Her laughs turned into big wet sobs, tears cementing into the mess of her face. One of the men Xuxi recognized pulled him to his feet by the collar on his shirt. He dragged Xuxi to the car as the boy kicked and screamed. The sun was still so high, and his ball was still lying in the sandbox. He didn’t want to go home, he didn’t do anything wrong. It was an accident. He watched the girl get lifted like a princess, the sand cascading from her skirt like rain. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” Xuxi shouted. “I warned her!” The suited men didn’t listen, even as he shouted again and again. Xuxi screamed in the car until he fell asleep. The men said nothing all the way home.

Xuxi woke up to the feeling of his legs peeling off the leather backseat as they lifted him out of the car. Tears stung in the corners of his eyes. It was all that girl’s fault; if she hadn’t cried so much, he wouldn’t have to go home. He could still play with his friends. He was led to his father’s office, deep inside the house, where his dad was reading with a furrowed brow. He looked up with mild curiosity as one of the men told him what Xuxi had done. Xuxi picked at a scab on his elbow. His father chuckled. “So, he hit another kid? And? I doubt it’ll be the last time.” He took a long sip from a small glass. 

“Sir, it was the General’s daughter,” the man explained. Xuxi’ father set down his drink. The sphere of ice in it clattered like an old music box. He thought for a moment before finally turning to Xuxi. 

“Were you angry, son? Is that why you hit her?”

Xuxi thought about all the hours of sunlight he was going to waste because he had to go home. It was really her fault that he had gotten in trouble. He nodded. “But I didn’t mean to hit her. I was just angry.”

His father grinned for just a second before falling serious again. “Xuxi, you can’t hit things that are fragile when you’re angry.”

“What’s fragile?”

“Fragile means...breakable. Girls, girls are fragile.” Xuxi thought about blood dripping onto sand. 

“Does fragile mean they bleed a lot?” His dad threw back his head in laughter. The girl’s voice rang in Xuxi’s head. 

“Yes, girls bleed more because they’re fragile. You can’t hit fragile things. You can only hit things that can fight back.” Xuxi thought hard for a moment.

“So it’s okay to fight? If they fight back?” He was really confused. Was he in trouble, or not? Xuxi’s father stood. He walked out from behind his desk and put his hand on Xuxi’s shoulder. It was warm, but not in the way that the sun was. His father squeezed his shoulder, hard enough to hurt.

“It’s okay to fight if they hit you first. Then, you can hit them as much as you want.” With a wave of his hand, he dismissed them and turned from his son. “Let him play video games or something for the rest of the day; I’ll deal with General.” Xuxi was whisked away, still confused. His shoulder burned where his father’s hand had been.

“Stop touching it!” The man in the front seat clicked his tongue. Yuqi pouted, reluctantly pulling her hand away from the tissue stuffed up her nose. Her fingers were covered in sandy blood, so she wiped them clean on her dress. The man started to protest, but she let a few more tears fall from her eyes. He sighed, shaking his head as he turned back to the road. 

Yuqi thought about the boy who hit her. He ran to her really, really fast. He looked scared. She wondered if he would get punished for hitting her. Most boys did. It was really easy to start crying when they hit her back. Boys were dumb; hadn’t they figured out that trick yet?

Cobblestone rumbled underneath the car as they pulled into the estate’s driveway. It made her bounce in her seat, enough to bounce the tissue out of her nose. “Uh oh,” she mumbled, and she heard the driver say a bad word. She watched as the blood that ran down her chin dripped onto her dress. It easily soaked into the pastel lace. She had a lot of dresses, but this was the worst one. Somehow, it kept coming back into her closet no matter how much dirt she got on it. Maybe blood would be enough to get rid of it forever. Maybe blood was dirty enough to make annoying things go away.

Her mother screamed as Yuqi walked inside, which made Yuqi want to cry again. It did hurt pretty bad, and her mom always bought ice cream after she cried. But then, she heard her father’s voice calling for her. It echoed off the cold marble. Her mother sighed, handed her a new hankerchief, and ushered her away into the study. Her father stood at the windows of the room, looking out over a small garden her mother tended to. Yuqi wasn’t allowed in the small white fence, because she always tried to grab the roses. 

Her father turned and mumbled, “Oh my,” as he saw her state. He took her chin in his hand and turned her face back and forth. “At least it’s not broken,” he sighed. “Chief told me what happened. His son hit you with the soccer ball?” 

“Is he going to get in trouble?” Yuqi asked. General smiled. 

“Are you worried about him? That’s very caring of you. Yes, I imagine so. He hit you pretty hard.” Yuqi’s father squatted down so that they were eye to eye. “Do you feel bad that he will be punished?” Yuqi thought for a moment, then shook her head.

“He did something bad. You get punished for being bad.” Her father’s eyes sparkled.

“That’s right,” he said. He patted her on the head with his free hand. “Your mother’s favorite dress is ruined, though. How sad. Why don’t you go get cleaned up, and she can take you out to get a new one?” Yuqi nodded. She tried to turn out of the room, but her father’s hand held fast on her jaw. “Oh, but Yuqi.” His voice was low, almost a whisper. She didn’t like when he talked like this. It meant something scary. “Don’t let anything catch you off guard like that again. Don’t let anyone hit you like that. They should never get that chance. Do you hear me? You should never come away the most bloody. Got it?”

“Yes, Father,” Yuqi responded. Her father released her jaw.

“That’s my little winner. Let’s get you some ice cream.”


	2. First Day of School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im switching Yukhei's name in order to be consistent in terms of language considering this is based in Beijing so i may change the first chapter or i may leave it lol sorz

Yuqi would not stop laughing. She fell to the floor, rolling onto her back. Her pleated skirt fell up around her hips, showing a small pair of black shorts. Xuxi clicked his tongue and rolled her over with his foot. “It’s not that funny,” he grumbled. She grabbed his ankle and wordlessly pointed at his pants hem floating around his calf. “It’s the longest inseam they had,” he said.

“You dumbass, your dad owns the Academy. You couldn’t ask for a longer pair of pants? You look like a middle schooler!” She wailed.

“High waters are in fashion nowadays. Someone with fat little tree stumps for legs wouldn’t understand that.”

Yuqi stopped laughing. She slammed her heel into his shin. He yelped, but only had enough time to stick his tongue out at her before his father entered the foyer.

“Look at you two!” Chief Wong boomed. “Picture perfect. Chin up, Xuxi, let me look at you.” Lucas clasped his hands behind his back and shifted his stance wider. Yuqi followed suit with chagrin. The Chief examined his son as if it was the first time he’d seen his own design: a soft cream turtleneck with a small gold pin on the collar, a simple black sportcoat with two red wings embroidered above the pocket, and khaki cotton pants tucked into combat boots. At least, they were supposed to be tucked in. He smiled wryly as he eyed the hem of Xuxi’s pants just barely kissing the leather. 

“I thought uniforms would fit me a bit better at nineteen,” Xuxi mumbled. Chief Wong patted his cheek warmly. “Everyone is equal at the Academy, Xuxi. Even my son.” He ushered them towards the door. “Well, off you go! You’ll have to hurry. Enjoy your first day of school.” Yuqi bowed slightly as she ducked through the door, Xuxi close behind. 

“My son?” Xuxi turned, halfway through the door frame. 

“Yes, father?”

“Don’t embarrass me.”

The entrance ceremony for the Phoenix Leadership Academy was unbearably long. Yuqi would have preferred running, push ups, anything other than standing motionless in her stiff uniform jacket under the September sun. Every professor had to speak their peace. Each speech was finished with, “Where others burn,” met from the students with a less and less passionate, “We rise.” 

Yuqi tried out all sorts of tones and voices on each one, earning a few chuckles and a few glares from the students around her. Xuxi barely cared. The school population wasn’t large, maybe two hundred total, so she got a good first read on most of her classmates before the end of the ceremony. Xuxi’s father was the last to speak, addressing the crowd with a politician’s smile. Yuqi watched a drop of sweat fall from Xuxi’s neck. The quick glances and shifts were so obvious. She showed her teeth to anyone she could make eye contact with as they turned.

Finally, after the school song and a few rounds of rifle fire, the students hustled to their first classes. Yuqi knew the academy like the back of her hand. She’d race through the halls with Xuxi when his mother wasn’t home, and his father was forced to bring him in. She’d let him chase her with a cicada or a beetle in his hands, threatening to put it in her hair. She knew all the best hiding places, and the easiest routes to each of them.

That’s why she wasn’t surprised when she showed up to her Diplomacy Fundamentals class ten minutes early. She was surprised to see that she was the second to arrive. A thin boy was slumped over a table in the back row, fast asleep. Her curiosity piqued, and with nothing to do until everyone arrived, she slipped silently into the seat in front of him. 

His black hair tousled gently over a slim, angular face and a button nose. It was just barely undercut, and his bangs were cut bluntly at his brow. Yuqi smirked. The Academy had no rules about hair, so why resort to such a boring look? She’d spent three hours at the salon with her mother getting her hair permed and dyed for an Academy debut. They were almost late that morning because of Xuxi’s endless preening over a sleazy slick back. Something under his hair caught the fluorescent lights. She shifted it with her finger slightly, to reveal an impressive row of diamond studs and silver rings down his ear. One gem even glittered deep in the shell of it. Everyone shows off somehow, she thought.

He roused. Yuqi pulled her hand back, placing a practiced princess smile on her lips. It wavered, just slightly, as their eyes met. As he blinked awake, she noticed something in his eyes that felt familiar. A fire, simmering somewhere deep in the black of them. It flickered on something strong in her head, an almost fond feeling that she rarely encountered. Especially for men. She disliked it. She pushed it aside and held her hand out to him.

“I’m Yuqi,” she said gently. As he raised his head, she saw three small golden pins on his collar. “Oh, you’re a third year? This is my first day, I guess I’m a little nervous. Any tips?” His thin brows furrowed, just slightly. Then he yawned, maintaining her eye contact the whole time, before dropping his head to the desk again. She quieted her fury before standing. She gently tapped his table twice with her knuckle before leaning in to whisper, “No wonder you’re still in a first year class.” She saw his jaw clench for just a second, but he didn’t open his eyes. She was satisfied with that, and made her way to the front of the class as other students filed in. 

A girl that laughed in the opening ceremony sat beside her. She reached out her hand and Yuqi took it gently, shaking it like a fragile autumn leaf. “Are you, maybe...Song Yuqi? General Song’s daughter?” She asked. Her voice was shrill and breathy.

“How did you know?” Yuqi gasped. The girl was delighted, cheeks pink. Yuqi put a finger to her lips coyly as the professor finally strolled in a minute after the period began. Her cheeks were already sore. She rested her chin in her hands, book open and pen ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones short cuz the next ones long comments save lives plz oblige


	3. The Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new fren

Their third class of the day finally rolled around, and Yuqi was humming with excitement. She pushed her way into the women’s locker room as gracefully as she could manage, bursting back out in record time. The fighting gym was incredibly large, with all manner of equipment stacked against each wall. Yuqi sank her toes into the black foam mats that cushioned cold concrete from wall to wall. Xuxi finally emerged from the men’s locker room, in similar dress as her: a tight white t-shirt, even tighter black training shorts, and a silky black track jacket with the Phoenix Academy wings emblazoned across the back. 

A few of their classmates were already fawning over Xuxi’s arms and shoulders as he walked over to meet her. He had hit a sudden growth spurt in high school that left him with far more limb than he knew what to do with. After joining the track team, his gangly limbs became powerful and toned. He gained a deep, golden tan from hours in the sun that seemed to only highlight each swell and dip in his skin. If Yuqi had to hear one more collective girly scream as he threw a javelin, she was going to puke.

He plopped down onto the floor beside her and patted the mat for her to sit. She could already feel the stares and whispers. She was no stranger to how the sparkle in girls’ eyes as they took in Xuxi went dark in a snap as they spotted her beside him. Alone, she was an idol to them. Next to Xuxi, she was only an obstacle. She took her seat next to him, unbothered. There were far more important things for her to focus on. Like the large octagonal cage set up in the middle of the room. 

It seemed like a temporary set up, some extra mats set to the side to make room for it. The black metal fencing reached far up to the ceiling, further than she imagined anyone would normally be in a fight. The ring was made of thinly padded boards, painted black with another pair of red flaming wings that spanned the whole thirty foot diameter. The fluorescent lights were dimmed on all sides, creating a harsh spotlight on the empty scene. 

“You’re drooling,” Xuxi chuckled, nudging Yuqi slightly with his shoulder. She shot him a glare as she finally tore her eyes away from the cage. Yuqi was always quick to fight from day one. Thankfully, Yuqi was easy to scoop up into his arms so he never had any trouble avoiding her tiny, sharp fists. He glanced around the room. For the sons and daughters of the powerful, most of the other students looked weak at best. He would go as far as frail for some, as he watched one boy go crashing to the floor as he tripped over the edge of the mats. _ Pathetic, _said a voice in his head. He quickly pushed it away. 

He couldn’t see any of the students gathering on the opposite side of the cage, but he hoped they were a little meatier, for their own sakes. This whole set up was surely a sparring test, and he knew Yuqi wouldn’t be pulling any punches. He also knew that going easy on anyone, regardless of lineage, would be a devastating sign of weakness for the Headmaster’s son. He had hoped to make some friends, but today might be a day for enemies. 

Their teacher entered the cage from a small built in door, holding his arms out wide to silence the crowd. He was built like a tank, his chest cleaving the black T-shirt stretched across it. Xuxi looked down at his own chest with a small frown.

“At attention!” The man’s voice echoed against the walls of the room and rattled Xuxi’s brain. Almost involuntarily, Xuxi scrambled to his feet and glued his hands to his sides. Yuqi and several other students did the same, but most of the class were slow to start. He made eye contact with another boy who was already standing, his chest puffed and his heels clicked tightly together. A military son. He was shorter, with princely features Xuxi was sure the girls would die for. He winked, and Xuxi looked away. Maybe not a military son.

The other students caught on eventually, and the man in the ring finally continued. “You may call me Professor, and Professor only! I am not your coach, your teacher, or your friend. And for the next two hours, neither are any of the people in this room.” Xuxi rolled his eyes. He was already over the theatre of it all. Yuqi was enthralled. “Each of you will spar for three minutes. You will bring your opponent to the mat by any means necessary. No weapons, no tools. I do not care about your technique. You will learn that from me. I will shape you. If you think you already have technique,” he narrowed his eyes at some of the larger boys in the room, “I will _ reshape _ you. What I care about today is your _ fire _.”

Murmurs and whispers rippled through the gym. A boy next to Xuxi scoffed and put his hands on his hips. “This is absolutely barbaric,” he whined. A politician’s son.

“So is the world,” the Professor snapped. Somehow he hadn’t yet gone deaf from his own voice.

He pulled a small velvet bag from his belt and reached inside, retrieving a small slip of paper from within. He called, “Song Yuqi!” like an executioner. 

Xuxi sighed as Yuqi nearly jumped with glee. Of all people to start this absolute chaos. He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “Please don’t kill anyone today.”

She giggled. “That’s not up to me! They won’t die if they defend themselves!” She jumped up the cage steps two at a time, an impressive feat for a small leg span. Xuxi felt the energy shift in the room. Most knew who Yuqi was; and if they didn’t, they would soon find out. Most of the boys went googly eyed as she appeared next to the Professor, fully dwarfed by his presence. She beamed a bright princess smile, and some of the girls went googly eyed, too. 

“Now, for your opponent.” The Professor reached towards his bag, but the room was in uproar before he could pick out a name. Yuqi’s eyes had darkened with a flame that Xuxi knew all too well. She stepped out in front of the Professor, turned her back to Xuxi, and pointed out into the crowd. Xuxi hopped and leaned, but he couldn’t see who Yuqi had so readily challenged. The octagon was too high to see across Had she already made an enemy? Wasn’t this day one?

The Professor merely smiled. “I admire your willingness, Yuqi,” he said in a tone that could almost be fond. “But no one will be choosing their partners today. Every match will be random.”

The boy next to Xuxi spoke up again. “Isn’t that unfair? What about weight class, mixing up genders? I mean, look at her. Are you just going to put anyone in there? It’s not like she has any reach.”

Xuxi sighed. If Yuqi had already made an enemy, he had just found number two. He glanced over at the boy, now crumbling into himself under the steady weight of Yuqi’s glare. His face was sharp, but with round doe eyes and pursed kitten lips that seemed made for pouting. His smooth black hair was artfully quaffed, and a small golden chain peeked out from under his t-shirt. He had a slight accent that only added to the musical whine of his voice. He was pretty by any standards, Xuxi thought. If only he wasn’t also a spoiled brat.

The Professor seemed to match Yuqi’s glare as he walked to their side of the cage. “Weight class? Weight class_ , _ boy? Weight class?! Do you think that will ever matter? Do you think, in the heat of battle, your enemy will stop to compare _ wingspans _ with you? To ask what your gender is? Your weight? Did you have a heavy lunch today, maybe you’re feeling chubby? By the time you think to ask, they will have gutted you, skinned you, wrapped your intestines around your own neck, and hung you from the nearest flag pole like the white flag you should have waved when you stepped out onto the battlefield. _ Weight class. _ Try again.” The Professor turned back to the class. 

“Huang Guanheng!” He read off the paper in his hand. His voice had a slight growl to it now. Xuxi watched the boy who had winked at him reel back, closing his eyes for just a second before stepping forward. He made his way up to the cage in a steady, elegant fashion. As he arrived, the Professor handed them both sets of Muay Thai gloves. Guanheng held his hand out to Yuqi once they had both geared up. She looked surprised, but took his hand as he bowed slightly. Xuxi scoffed. He seemed greasy, but so genuine about it he could hardly be mad. His teeth were maddeningly white and straight as he flashed the room a large smile. Xuxi heard girls giggling around him and tried very hard not to be very jealous.

The Professor wasted no time on pleasantries. He ducked out of the cage, leaving Guanheng looking desperately between him, the crowd, and Yuqi. He never let his eyes drift from her for long, though. She was like a balloon ready to pop, and he curled away from her slightly in anticipation. He was smart for that at least, Xuxi thought. The Professor barked, “Three minutes on the clock!” and started a large digital countdown mounted to the wall behind the cage with a remote. 

As soon as the buzzer sounded, Yuqi tightened her grip on Guanheng’s hand. He had failed to pull it away in his confusion, and Yuqi immediately took advantage. She jolted his arm towards her, nearly pulling his shoulder out of his socket, and struck the palm of her hand downward behind his shoulder blade as his body passed her. He cried out, her aim true as she hit a pocket of nerves. But he didn’t crumple completely; he fell to a knee and gasped for air, before scrambling to his feet again to face her. He shook his arm out before raising up on his toes. He held his hands up to his face, and shuffled around her. Yuqi slid one foot back and stood completely still, hands at her chest. They read each other for a moment. Then, Guanheng went in for a strike.

He feigned a left cross before aiming an uppercut under her hands. Yuqi pushed it down easily, but had to bring a forearm up just in time to catch his back elbow as he continued his attack. His combination was complicated, but predictable. Yuqi caught each blow with perfect timing, waiting for a second chance. She got it as he finally pulled away, breathless. _ Amatuer, _ she thought. He’d blown himself out in the first thirty seconds. 

She let him shuffle around her again. He came in with a low kick this time, and she let her excitement get the better of her as she leaped over it. He aimed high, and nearly caught her in the stomach as she spun in the air. She stumbled back slightly, grabbing at the cage behind her. She liked the cool metal in her grip. As Guanheng came to meet her, she ducked under his arm and crowded him against the cage. She got in a few solid body shots before he pushed back against her, using his larger size to launch her into the air and away from him. His eyes were wide as he turned to face Yuqi still somehow on her feet. 

Yuqi took in a deep breath. She glanced at the cage behind Guanheng. It was time to finish this. She sprinted towards him, with no intent on stopping. He tried to duck left, but Yuqi reached out with an open palm and slapped him back to center. She leaped up onto the cage, the wire clattering as both her hands and feet made contact. She pulled up as her legs pushed off and wrapped tightly around Guanheng’s neck. He garbled, and his short nails dug into her thighs. She let go of the cage. 

The wood clattered as they hit the ground. Yuqi felt the wind knock out of her, but held her thighs tight. She had turned as they fell, so they both landed face up. How nice of her, not to break his nose. She was probably going too easy on him.

Guanheng sputtered and coughed. His face started to turn red, and he tapped twice on Yuqi’s leg. She didn’t let go. He wheezed out a small nervous laugh, looking around wildly for the Professor. He was counting, very slowly, down from ten. His voice seemed to slow even more as oxygen left Guanheng’s brain. He closed eyes. This was fine. If he was going to die here, might as well die wrapped in thighs. They were very lovely. Very,_ very _strong and lovely. If he survived, he might tell her that. Or not, if he still valued his life then.

Yuqi rolled her eyes. She had ignored Guanheng’s tap out because the Professor shook his head at her. But this drawn out countdown was far too much. She leaned down and whispered, “Stay down,” into Guanheng’s ear. She hovered her thighs around his throat, but kept them clenched as if still in a choke hold. He gasped once, but held his breath again as he looked up at her. She really was being too nice.

Finally, the Professor reached one and Yuqi let her thighs drop to the floor. Guanheng gave a big, exaggerated gasp, crawling away from her with his hands at his throat. The class clapped and hooted. Yuqi waved at them. She stood, and held her hand out to Guanheng still rolling about on the floor. He stood himself before taking it. Despite a great performance seconds before, he had a hard time keeping his face straight as they shook hands. His smile strobed between grateful and fearful. He stuttered a bit as he just said, “Fuck yeah!” Yuqi snorted. She glanced into the crowd, finding Xuxi immediately. He gave her a small thumbs up, looking relieved. Guanheng followed her eyes, and waved at Xuxi. “Fuck yeah!” He yelled again, pointing at Yuqi as he looked down. Xuxi shrugged and nodded. He wasn’t wrong.

The rest of class was relatively uneventful, with no one quite as enthusiastic as Yuqi. They only got through half the class because most students refused to bring anyone to the mat by the time the countdown was finished; the Professor was steaming. As soon as class was over, everyone fled into the locker rooms as quickly as possible. Yuqi was met with furtive glances and stares as she changed. Xuxi, with high praise despite not even participating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment to get choked out by yuqi


	4. The Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new fren (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i updated chapter 1 and 3 a little, but not a totally necessary reread :3

Xuxi was exhausted by the time classes had finished. He just wanted to go home, but his father had promised to give him a ride. Now here he was, stuck outside the Headmaster’s office on a thoroughly uncomfortable wooden stool.

He could easily hear his father arguing with Yuqi’s dad. The two had known each other for so long that they often bickered like old broads, but eventually made up over a bottle of whiskey. He tried, albeit not very hard, not to eavesdrop.

“I can’t believe you still let that thing spread it’s scum across these halls. After three years, it’s unseemly!” The General spat. “How can you still let him sit amongst the rest of these students?” 

Xuxi’s interest was piqued. Were they talking about one of his classmates?

His father sighed. “You didn’t seem to mind these three years, Song. I can’t imagine what’s changed.”

“Don’t mock me, Huang. This involves your son, too.”

Xuxi didn’t even try not to listen anymore. He just hoped his father had fully forgotten he was there per usual, so he didn’t close his office door.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I didn’t make sure almost every class he had, Xuxi wasn’t in? But that brat insisted on taking combat with Yuqi, I couldn’t stop him. I can only hope he didn’t have to breathe the same air as that street rat. But a deal is a deal. The boy has to stay.”

“You make so much of an effort for your own son, but I see you make none for my Yuqi.”

“She can defend herself, you know that.”

“She shouldn’t have to!” Xuxi heard a pair of hands slam down on mahogany. He jumped, and at the same time heard a faint rustle of leaves from the window beside him. He squinted into the twilight, but couldn’t make anything out.

The room was silent awhile. His father cleared his throat. “I’ve done what I can these past few years to get him out quietly. But the kid is smart. He keeps his head down so far, the faculty can barely even remember his name, let alone think of one demerit to it.” He chuckled. “It’s something he could teach his bitch mother, for a change.”

“I’d certainly like to teach her a thing or two. I can’t believe she dares to show her face in this town again.”

“I guess that slut ran out of money in Thailand, so she’s back to squeeze more out of her...investors.”

The two men laughed, and Xuxi heard a rustle again. This time, he could just barely make out a figure running from the bushes outside the main office. He rushed to the window, but it was gone in a flash. His father called him into the office, and he reluctantly tore himself away.

“Yes father?” The two men were still bemused as he entered the room. He was so used to their heady mood swings by now. He smiled and nodded at the General, and stood at attention before his father. 

“I believe General Song and I have some more business to discuss.” He smiled again, dark and devious. “Why don’t you drive yourself home today?” He tossed Xuxi a sparse key ring, and Xuxi barely caught it. 

“But father,” his eyes flickered to the General, “I thought you said we’d go home together? So we could have dinner with mom? It’s been a while since she was back in town.”

“You’re a grown man, son. Have dinner on your own.”

“But, don’t you miss--”

“Xuxi! You are interrupting an important meeting. Leave.  _ Quickly. _ ”

Xuxi bowed his head. His grip quivered tightly around the keys in his hand. “Yes, father.”

He ducked out of the room, slinging his backpack over his shoulder with enough force to knock the wind out of himself slightly. They certainly had a lot of textbooks for an education essentially about how to fight good. He tried not to hear one of the men mumble, “Needy,” as he left.

He stormed out of the building and through the empty parking structure, all the extravagant Teslas and Porsches of the rich and famous already back home at their lavish mansions. Surely they’d be eating at a long table with all their hard earned brothers and sisters, complaining about their first day of school. He headed to the headmaster’s reserved spot, all the way at the top of the structure. Xuxi never got why his father liked such an inconvenient space, until he stepped out of a custom-detailed door on his sixteenth birthday. His father clapped him on the shoulder and walked him to the edge. Xuxi was almost certain his father would guide him right off the side of it, but they stopped just short of the concrete ledge. 

“Look down,” his father had said. Below, the entire academy quad was visible. Even the secret corners and hiding places Yuqi and him had found as kids, were laid bare and exposed from this angle. He shuddered to think of how often his father might have been up here when they were playing. “What do you see?”

“Everything,” Xuxi replied. His father smiled.

“Correct. From here, we see everything. There is nothing hidden from us. A good ruler has the perspective of a cloud. Silent. Watchful. And although there are those who refuse to look up, to acknowledge the true size and power of the clouds,” his grip tightened on Xuxi’s shoulder, “We are always looking down.”

Xuxi threw his backpack into the seat next to him, slumping down into the leather driver’s seat with his hands over his face. It was so wonderfully quiet, for once, and he couldn’t even enjoy it with his too loud thoughts. He could hear the sound of his own breath echoing against his palms. He tried to focus on the rhythm of it, to slow its rapid pace. His hands went cool as he inhaled, warm as he exhaled. Cool, warm, cool, warm, and like that he almost fell asleep.

Almost.

He startled out of his seat as the car thundered and shook with the sound of straining metal. His hands flailed, and he accidentally hit the carn horn. It let out a tiny piercing beep, and he cursed at himself for flinching again. He heard laughter and a strange clicking sound as he looked up in horror.

There was a man perched in a squat on top of the car, like an oversized hood ornament. He was backlit almost too perfectly by the sparse complex lights, casting a dark shadow over the front seat. He wore a tacky leopard print fur vest over a black sweatshirt, the hood pulled low to shadow his face. His black jeans were skin tight, straining against every curve in his legs until they tucked into a pair of stout combat boots. Xuxi watched a pair of gold chains around his neck glint in the harsh fluorescents. He had just started to question the extravagant outfit when he saw the man reach for his back pocket. 

Xuxi grasped at the training burned into his mind. His adrenaline was peaking, and the copper taste of it swirled his brain around like a glass of wine. Time slowed. The windshield was bulletproof, but only for a couple of shots. He hadn’t seen the man approach, so he had no idea of his weapon’s caliber. Xuxi wouldn’t be able to start the car without startling his attacker; his father “didn’t believe” in electric. But just maybe, if he moved his hands fast enough in the shadows, he’d have time to get the doors locked before he jolted forward to throw the man off his car and off the building. If not, he could make a run for it. The hunched figure looked half his size, and Xuxi was very good at weaving. He reached his left hand for the door and the right for his push start.

The man did not pull out a gun. Instead, he pulled out something long and cylindrical. Xuxi, still panicking, was convinced it was a weirdly shaped grenade. It wasn’t until the man started shaking it did he realize it was a can of spray paint.

Xuxi was filled with an entirely new panic as the man approached the windshield and started painting in huge, dramatic strokes. Xuxi closed his eyes as the paint hissed over him. He only opened them again when the sound had stopped, and looked up in horror at the man’s artwork. 

He had painted “HI!” in huge lime green block letters, and the paint dripped down the glass in ugly streams. It was accompanied by two happy faces, one flirtatious kissy face and one sideways cat smile, complete with lopsided ears. The dripping paint began to pool into the front vent, and Xuxi could feel the repair money cascading from his pocket. 

“Did ya miss me?!”

The man’s voice was unexpected. It was high and sharp, carefully rounding around each syllable like they had been practiced. He tilted his head, tapping the spent paint can against his shoulder. Every movement was too quick and too graceful, like a large cat playing with its food. He continued.

“It’s been such a long summer break. Your poor old head, seems like it's forgotten some things! Seems like you’ve forgotten our little deal, good sir. And that’s not very nice.”

Xuxi felt his adrenaline muddle with confusion in a cheap brain sangria. How could he miss a man he had never met? Supposedly? Maybe he had met him. He still had yet to fully see his face, only glimpses of a small button nose and white teeth. Old head? Xuxi willed his slow brain to catch up.

“What? No response, Chief? No witty comeback? Don’t think I can’t see your rusty wheels turning. You can’t touch me, old man. Don’t you remember your place?”

Xuxi’s slow brain jolted out of neutral and into third gear. He was in his father’s car. His father’s  _ custom _ car. In the front seat. Alone. With an embarrassingly shaky hand, he reached up and turned on the cabin light. The hood thumped as the man jolted back, losing his balance and landing quite ungracefully on his butt. The force knocked his hood off.

His black hair feathered across a red headband, ruffled and unkempt but in an obviously intentional way. A row of gold earrings glinted around each ear, some connected by chains or dotted with diamonds. His face was small, pointed, and currently extended into a comical look of shock. Xuxi heard a small voice in his head say  _ cute _ before a million others piled on top of it. 

His shock was short lived, as the man’s nose scrunched in a not entirely uncute way before his expression darkened. His eyebrows furrowed and he snarled. Xuxi was trying to process all the wrong things all at once. Did people really snarl? Was that a thing humans actually did, and not something he’d read constantly in wuxia novels? The man hopped off the hood, his feet falling silently on the concrete despite his chunky boots. Everything about this man seemed inhuman, but Xuxi hesitated to say ethereal. He reared back, and chucked the paint can over the edge of the building. Xuxi finally noticed his black latex gloves.

The man turned, and approached the driver side window. He stopped and stared Xuxi down, waiting. Xuxi started to panic again. He had already vandalized the car, what else was he going to do? Was he still hiding a gun? A knife? Mace? But instead of pulling another weapon, the man just stood outside the window with his arms crossed. He looked impatient, almost pouting, so after a few false starts and wrong buttons, Xuxi slowly rolled down the window. As the night air blew cold into the car, and the smell of expensive cologne with it, Xuxi said the first thing that came to his mind.

“You wrote it backwards.”

The man scoffed. He still seemed a bit off-balance, still dissatisfied with the car’s occupant. “What?”

“You wrote the… I mean, I can’t read.”

“You can’t read?” He snorted.

Xuxi gestured wildly to the windshield. “ _ I can read, _ but you wrote the shit backward. It’s...It’s backwards.”

Words were tumbling out of Xuxi’s mouth like lottery balls, and none of them were lucky numbers. He stifled a squeak as the man ducked his head inside the car, looking at the windshield himself. Indeed, the windshield said “:3 !IH,” paint finally beading and drying across the smooth glass. The man refused to acknowledge it though, instead asking, “Why the fuck are you in this car?”

“I’m going home?” Xuxi offered. It didn’t seem like enough so he added, “It’s my dad’s?”

That was both the right and wrong answer as the man inhaled deeply, his nose scrunching again as his gaze sharpened. “I know that, stupid. Where is he?”

“I don’t know, still inside? I can give him a message, if you like. Although it seems like you’ve done that yourse-- hey, wait!” The man turned in a huff, not waiting for Xuxi to finish as he stomped away from the car. “Just wait a second!” Xuxi clambered out of the car, limbs akimbo as he first tried to exit out the window before finally getting the door unlocked and opened. “Can we at least talk about how you just vandalized my car?”

The man whipped around. “Your  _ daddy’s _ car you mean?”

Xuxi sighed. “Well, yes--”

“Then let your daddy’s money pay for it, stupid.” He stomped back to Xuxi, but not close enough to make their height difference obvious. Xuxi still noticed. He was taller than Yuqi, but still several centimeters shorter than him. Forehead kissing height, probably. Xuxi’s brain did a quick 360 at the thought before going totally blank. He barely noticed the man now pointing a slender finger at him, quite threateningly.

“You better fucking watch yourself, daddy’s boy,” he sneered. “You mention this to anyone, and you’ll be six feet under before you blink again. I will destroy you, and there would be nothing your  _ family _ could do about it. Got it? You watch your damn back.”

“Okay?” Xuxi heard himself respond. “I usually do?”

The man rolled his eyes. He flipped his hood back up. “Watch it,” he growled one last time before turning to leave. 

“Wait, what’s your name?” Xuxi called out, before he could stop himself. His name? The name of the man who just destroyed his property and would surely one day kill him?

The man didn’t turn. Instead, he answered with a middle finger cast lazily in Xuxi’s direction, visible until he turned the corner and disappeared again into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ten draws another ":3" for every comment he sees


	5. The Longest First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truly the longest first day of school

Xuxi couldn't drive home. Obviously. But Xuxi also couldn’t walk home. Xuxi couldn't go home. Going back inside to find his father was out of the question, so he did what any rational grown man would do. He called his mom. His mom in turn called the driver, who in turn ordered a tow truck for the car. 

She stayed on the line with him, her voice soothing and low as he tried not to fully freak out. He could tell she was angry, but he could hear his own voice shaking. She assured him he was safe now, that the man was gone, but that wasn’t who he was worried about. He could not even imagine what would be waiting for him by his father’s hands.

His mother abruptly ended the call after Xuxi heard the faint sound of doors opening and closing. He was left in silence on the roof with his thoughts longer than he would have liked. Finally, the driver arrived in their second best Mercedes with a tow truck following close behind. Xuxi promised him a large tip as he watched the custom vehicle get unceremoniously dragged away. The driver chuckled. “It’s not the first time someone’s targeted the property, and it certainly won’t be the last,” he mused. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, sonny.” 

His father would find out eventually, for certain. But for now, at least for the next few hours, he was safe.

  
  


He was not safe.

As he shuffled through the front door, he heard his name booming through the house. Xuxi’s mother raced towards him as elegantly as possible, taking his hands in hers. She was dressed in a long, fluffy robe over her nightgown, still beautiful in her barefaced age.

“Apparently General Song got too drunk, so he called a car for him,” she explained hurriedly. “They gave him a ride back to the house. I’m sorry sweetie, I had to tell him.”

“How much did you—” His father called again, somehow even louder. Xuxi gave his mom’s hands a small squeeze before heading to the study. His chest felt tight. As he stepped into the office, his father spared no theatrics. He didn’t turn from the window as Xuxi entered, even though by now it was too dark to see anything in the glass but his own reflection. He gestured towards the chair on the opposite side of his desk, and finally moved once Xuxi had sat.

He stood behind his own chair, hands flat and wide across the desk. Xuxi was a few inches taller than his father, so he’d always make Xuxi sit when he wanted his son to feel powerless. 

It usually worked. 

Thankfully, now the effect was slightly softened by the uneven focus in his eyes, head lolling to the side slightly with the weight of a whiskey night. Of all things, thankfully, Chief Huang was not a violent drunk. 

“Go on,” he said. “I don’t have all night.”

So Xuxi explained what happened. He chose every word carefully. He describes getting to the car in the abandoned lot. He closed his eyes for a small power nap. A man in gloves and a hoodie jumped up onto the car and without a word, vandalized the car with him inside it. Xuxi was too shocked, and the man was too fast to stop him. Xuxi hesitated in his rehearsed story. He thought for a moment. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but something about the deadly cold seeping into his father’s tired eyes stopped him. So he said, “That’s it. And then they ran away.”

“What?” his father asked. His eyes narrowed.

“Yep. They climbed up on the car, painted the window, and ran away.”

His father asked, “Are you sure?” 

Xuxi nodded. His father stood up straight. He put a hand to his hip and studied Xuxi. Xuxi was caught in the iron grip of his gaze, but didn’t break. He was ready for the storm this time.

“Alright,” his father breathed. “Did you see what they looked like?”

“No,” Xuxi said.

“Are you sure?” His father asked again.

Xuxi swallowed down panic, and nodded. “Just a gangly kid committing vandalism. That’s all I could see.”

“Interesting. You really didn’t see his face? Or chase after him? Or talk to him?”

Xuxi shook his head. “I’m really sorry, dad. I’m so, so sorry.” That was the truth.

His father took a deep breath and let it out in a low whistle. It sounded like the whine of a kettle destined to burst. “Okay,” he said finally.

Xuxi blinked. “Okay? Just… Okay?”

“You didn’t see his face, so I can’t take action. We’ll dust for prints, but you said he was wearing gloves?”

Xuxi nodded again. He was dumbstruck by his father’s reaction. Somehow, this was so much worse than the rage and violence he had prepared himself for.

“You saw he was wearing gloves, but you didn’t see his face?”

Xuxi panicked again and said the first thing he could think of. “He was wearing a mask. Just a surgical mask, but with his hood up it kind of hid...everything.”

His father only nodded. “Alright. You can go. Head straight to your room, the last thing I need is you making more trouble tonight.”

Xuxi slipped out, not daring to say another word. He knew he was lucky, and was going to take full advantage of it.

“You lied.”

Maybe not so lucky. He stopped at the top of the stairs as he heard his mother’s voice. It rang softly against the marble, and he hoped his father couldn’t hear it.

“I didn’t lie mom. I promise. I told him everything I told you.” He smiled down at her. Her face was stoic, too stoic for the warmth she usually cast over Xuxi’s life. It made Xuxi squirm in his skin. She pressed her lips together, not quite a smile.

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep, my dear.” She turned and he watched as she strode away. Once he was sure she wasn’t headed to the study, he raced across the balcony to his room and quickly but quietly shut the door. His hand jostled against the knob as he shuddered to the floor, breathing heavy.

He couldn’t stay like this. He heard what his father had said, every word was ringing sharp in his ears, but he couldn’t just stay here in his room. He felt the walls close in around him as his breath quickened. His hands started to hurt before he realized he was clenching them. He shook them out, letting the adrenaline shoot through them in manic bursts. He knew what was coming. 

He put his hands on his stomach, pressing in. He breathed in as deep as he could, pressing against his hands with each breath. His fingernails dug in when his eyes pricked with the threat of tears, but he just kept breathing. He closed his eyes. All he could see was ocean. The waves rolled in, and he inhaled. The waves rolled out, and he pressed his hands in for as long as he could. Time slowed. It felt like ages before he finally gained control. He looked up at the clock; only three minutes had passed.

Almost a personal record, but he could still feel the copper shooting through his limbs. He really had to get out. He knew he could shake it free with a workout, but their home gym was even smaller than his room. The claustrophobia would be crippling. So as quickly as he could manage with trembling hands, he slipped into joggers and a sweatshirt, fumbled around his desk for a program he’d written earlier that week, and padded barefoot to the front door. 

Somehow, he made it out of the house. He slipped his trainers on as soon as he got out, and broke into a sprint just in case. He knew every camera blindspot, every motion sensor, and gave a small nod to the bodyguard outside the front gate. They had an agreement.

It was a comfortable jog from their front gate to the Phoenix Academy dorms main building. He waved at a bored looking senior working the front desk, and she waved back, brightening as he entered. He’d been coming to the dorm gym since he started track in high school. Most of the staff recognized him, and new hires were quickly educated. 

He headed for the cardio room, picking up some free weights on his way. It was nearly empty this late at night, so he had plenty of room to lay out all his equipment and a mat across the floor. He pulled on his headphones, slapping his program up on a treadmill screen. With his music blaring and eyes down, he went to work.

It was easy to lose himself here. He’d find a flow, match it to the music, and cruise through. He could feel the tension melting from his shoulders, every drop of sweat carrying the adrenaline out of his body. 

He was almost through the first round of his home brewed circuit training, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

He felt his shoulders reach towards his ears again as he lost his grip and his weight bar slammed to the ground. He felt the floor shake under his feet and felt blessed those feet weren’t under the weights. He whirled, bewildered. Who had the audacity to interrupt a man’s workout? His special time?

Huang Guanheng. Huang Guanheng had the audacity, and a wide cheery smile to boot. His lips moved silently, and Xuxi only pushed his headphones off once Guanheng motioned towards his own ear.

“Didn’t mean to scare you!” He grinned. His bangs were pulled up in a tiny apple stem, and his clothes hung baggy off his slim body. “You must have a lot of weight on that bar, that sounded crazy!”

“Sorry,” Xuxi mumbled. “I don’t usually drop it. I’m responsible, you know, I just…” He trailed off, eyes glazing over slightly. Guanheng thought for a moment, then nodded. He hopped up on to Xuxi’s treadmill and pulled his program down to read it. Xuxi was touchy about privacy at the best of times, and tonight was not a great night for boys with no boundaries.

“Did you make this?” Guanheng asked, carefully studying the worksheet. Xuxi nodded, and Guanheng looked impressed. “That’s a lot of work.”

“I’m a big boy.” Xuxi regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Guanheng only laughed, head thrown back as squeaky guffaws barely escaped his lunges. 

“True,” he said finally. “Mind if I join you?”

Xuxi malfunctioned for a second. He was so caught off guard by Guanheng’s sudden bright charm in the less than ideal night, he found himself nodding. Then, he found himself guiding Guanheng in his workout for the next hour. 

Somewhere in the middle, Xuxi cursed in Canto and Guanheng caught it with a tiny gasp. Canto came pouring out of his mouth as he explained how he was originally from Macau, how tired he was of Mandarin after years of boarding school, how much he missed his mother tongue. Xuxi couldn’t help but get excited too, and barely bothered with Mandarin for the rest of their workout. 

He got into it, even giving Guanheng little form cues here and there. Guanheng responded with words of encouragement, and Xuxi tried not cry at how sincere they sounded. They finally finished in two heaps of sweat and limbs, giggling slightly after a competitive race to the finish. The room fell into a gentle quiet after Xuxi’s playlist ended, their breath the only movement left in the room. Guanheng spoke first.

“You’re pretty good at that.”

Xuxi rolled over. He propped his head up on his arm and looked down at Guanheng through wet fringe. “At working out?” He asked.

Guanheng giggled. “At making them. At that whole coaching thing.”

Xuxi’s arm gave out slightly, and he fell over onto his back again. He felt his cheeks go warm, and tried to brush it away with his gym towel. Guanheng was a professional at giving compliments that sounded far too genuine to be true, and Xuxi was a bit shaken by it. “Thanks,” he finally mumbled.

“Although, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised,” Guanheng continued. “With your father being the chief and all. Like a mini drill sergeant. Except without the mini!” Guanheng slapped Xuxi’s bicep, and rolled away towards his water bottle. Xuxi’s skin grew clammy cold, only burning where Guanheng had touched it. His father. Always, every time, it would come back to his father. He should have known. He should have seen it the first time they met, the way he’d greeted Yuqi and so shamelessly flirted across the ring. It wasn’t anything new. He had just hoped it wasn’t the same old thing this time around.

Xuxi got up wordlessly and wiped down the equipment. Guanheng rushed to help him, dragging the extra set he’d pulled out for himself back into the weight room. By the time he returned, Xuxi had already grabbed his bag and was headed out the door.

“Hey, wait!” Guanheng called, scrambling to collect his things. “Let’s walk back together! What building are you in?”

“I don’t live in the dorms,” Xuxi responded. He cringed at how blunt he sounded. Usually it wasn’t hard saving face around brown-nosers, but it had been a long day and he thought… He had thought Guanheng was different.

Guanheng frowned. “Then how did you get in the gym?”

Xuxi smirked. “My father, of course. How else.”

Guanheng’s frown deepened. Xuxi picked up his pace, trying desperately to leave the conversation before he said anything meaner. It really just wasn’t the time. Guanheng skipped a little, as light on his feet as he was that morning, and swiftly cut Xuxi off. 

“Hey, man are you okay?”

Xuxi shrugged. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine, dude. Did I say something wrong?”

Xuxi took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Guanheng’s eyebrows furrowed, disgustingly kind, and he stepped out of Xuxi’s way. “I get it, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. Today was kind of rough for all of us, I can’t even imagine… Anyways. I’ll see you around? Maybe in the gym again?”

Xuxi tried his best to smile. “Maybe.” 

Xuxi fled out of the gym without looking back, not even when the senior girl called his name out sweetly. He tried to look incredibly engaged with his phone, but he only had one unread text:

_ dìdi: _

_ bored. send me a cat video. _

Xuxi smiled. He had started calling Yuqi  _ dìdi _ as a joke, considering also that they were practically the same age. But when he’d shot up to a towering 180cm their freshman year of high school, he demanded she call him  _ gē _ after years of her pushing him down when they were the same height. She never called him  _ gē _ anymore, but  _ dìdi _ rolled off his tongue too easily to give up.

_ xixi: _

_ Can’t _ .  _ Not home. _

_ dìdi: _

_ ??? It’s like ten _

_ xixi: _

_ Couldn’t sleep. _

_ dìdi: _

_ want to talk about it? _

Xuxi didn’t respond until he got home. If he wanted to talk about it, Yuqi would be the only one he would talk to anyways. But he wasn’t even sure if that was what he wanted. He snuck his way back into the house and collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to change.

_ xixi: _

_ Nah. Too long to text. _

He tossed his phone to the side with a huff, and stared up at his ceiling. He almost fell asleep like that, kitten smiles dancing in his mind.

A loud rap on his window made his eyes shoot open. His heart pounded out of his chest as another rap broke the quiet night. Then a series of tiny taps trickled against the glass, and he finally looked up in confusion. He watched as another tiny handful of gravel collided with the glass. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and opened the window. 

“How the hell did you get here so fast?” he whispered into the night. Yuqi’s head popped out from a large manicured hedge. A few leaves clung to her permed hair as she not so gracefully extracted herself from it. 

“I was already here, dummy!” She yell-whispered back. “My mom was hanging out with your mom for dinner. I thought you’d be here so I tagged along, but your mom got off the phone right as we came and told us you were still at school. We were stuck in traffic on our way home when you finally responded. You could have come over if you didn't want to type it!”

“Sorry. I’m technically on house arrest tonight.”

“I knew I sensed trouble. I jumped out of the car to save you, princess!” With that, Yuqi started to climb the large oak just outside Xuxi’s window.

“You jumped out of the car?!” Xuxi cried, only remembering to stay quiet halfway through “car.” 

Yuqi deftly hopped from the oak branch to the windowsill, scrambling up into Xuxi’s room with a huff. “Just kidding. I told my mom to turn around.” 

Xuxi rolled his eyes. Yuqi skipped to his bed and plopped down. He cringed as she narrowly missed his damp sweat ring. She scrunched her nose.

“It smells like boy in here. Did you go to the gym? I told you, late night workouts are going to fuck up your sleep schedule.”

Xuxi shrugged. He watched as Yuqi fiddled with the fringe on one of his blankets, and felt his head start to swim. “Did your mom already go home?” Yuqi nodded. Xuxi swallowed thickly. “So you’re staying over?” Yuqi nodded again.

“You needed to talk, right?” She said with a smile. Xuxi’s brain turned to mush, and suddenly his hands were wrong. He tried putting them on his hips, then back on the windowsill, but nothing was right. This wasn’t right. Yuqi here, now sprawling out on what clean sheets she could find, the house quiet in the drifting midnight, the two of them. Alone. He felt so guilty. It was raw in his chest, the fact that Yuqi put so much trust in him, so much more than he deserved. He wasn’t a teenager anymore. But the intrusive thoughts and images never stopped. And his feelings never left.

“I don’t think you should,” Xuxi mumbled. 

Yuqi scoffed. “Why?”

“We’re not kids anymore,  _ dìdi _ .” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Xuxi caught himself slightly. “We won’t both fit in the bed, it’ll be super uncomfortable.”

“Then I’ll sleep in a guest room. Obviously. Don’t you have, like three?” 

Xuxi let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. They did have three guest rooms. Obviously. He laughed, but even he could tell it sounded forced. He sat down in his desk chair across from her.

“I won’t steal your bed, you big baby. Especially not with that face.” Yuqi sat up and folded in her legs. “You ready to talk about it yet?”

“Talk about what?” Xuxi himself wasn’t even sure. Where would he even start? The events of the day strobed through his mind, jumping from his dad’s office to the gym to the car. How would he even start to talk about the car?

“The gym?” Yuqi suggested. “Something must have happened at the gym. You’re gross, but never gross enough to not shower as soon as you come home.”

It was something to grab onto. Even if there was so much more that led to it, he could start there. “I met your new friend there,” he started.

“I don’t have new friends.” Yuqi said the word with slight disdain, and Xuxi smiled. 

“Huang Guanheng. I was working out and he scared the shit out of me. Came from nowhere, honestly.” 

“How could you not see him coming? His teeth are a lighthouse.”

Xuxi laughed. It felt more genuine now, and it warmed his belly. “True. But I had my headphones in, and he snuck up behind me. Anyways, we ended up working out together and he complimented my programming and everything.”

“You are good at programming,” Yuqi agreed. Xuxi felt his blush surge again, deeper than before. He blessed the darkness of his room. 

“Thanks,” he said dumbly. “But then… I don’t know, I’m probably being paranoid. But he said something about my dad, and it just… It just didn’t feel right.”

“Like he had other intentions?”

“Exactly.”

Yuqi chewed on a manicured fingernail. It was an old habit she fell back into whenever she was thinking honestly about something. It drove both of their mothers up the wall. He reached out without thinking and pushed her hand back down into her lap. His fingers lingered too long on her palm, chilled by the night air. She looked down at their hands with a small pout. Xuxi quickly let go and pushed his feet against the bed to roll himself away. 

“I don’t think you’re wrong,” Yuqi concluded, unphased. “That sounds suspicious as hell. Huang Guanheng, Huang Guanheng… He fought well, but simple. He’s military.”

“That’s what I thought, too! But apparently he’s from Macau, and that smile…”

“Politician?” They said together. Yuqi laughed. “Either way, it makes sense,” she continued. “He tried to get my attention after class, too. Obviously he’s just trying to get in good with us for our parents. Simple. I’ll do some research tomorrow, and find out what his parents could gain from our fathers. I’ll have a full report by the end of the day. Then we can go from there.” She pursed her lips. “I knew there was something sleazy about him, this just confirms it. What a shit-noser. Can’t trust anyone.”

Xuxi cringed as he thought back on their impromptu training session together. “I don’t think you need to do research, necessarily.”

“He took advantage of you. And obviously, you’re—” she waved her arms vaguely in his direction, “ _ upset  _ about it. I’m not going to just let him get away with that.”

Xuxi’s heart warmed. “Thanks,  _ dìdi _ .”

“For what?” she scoffed. “This affects me, too.”

Xuxi shrugged. “For caring, I guess.”

Yuqi frowned. She unfolded her legs, and scooted to the edge of the bed. “Of course, I care. Hey, you know that right? You’re my best friend, Xixi. I’ll always care.”

Xuxi felt a tiny knife twist under his ribs. He gave her a small smile, but didn’t respond. It was the wrong choice, because Yuqi scooted closer and placed a hand on his. It almost made him laugh to see how tiny and pale it was in comparison. 

“Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want to talk about? Nothing else that happened today, that bothered you?”

There it was again. A wall right in front of the strange hooded man, like a fence built before the house. He couldn’t understand why, but he told her there was nothing.

She sighed. She obviously didn’t believe him, but always knew when to stop pushing. She gave his hand three small pats, and waited for him to do the same. He did, completing their secret code. With that, she seemed satisfied. She wished him goodnight, tapping the back of her hand against his neck as she passed. She slipped silently out of the room, tiny feet barely making a sound as she disappeared down the hall.

Xuxi collapsed back into the chair. He slid onto the floor with a groan. He could have passed out right there, but the sweat on his scalp was starting to itch and all the places Yuqi had touched him burned. He zombied his way through a shower, finally flopping into bed well past midnight. Tomorrow, whether he liked it or not, he would have to do it all again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments keep Hendery's teeth white


	6. The Second First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo im a tiny account but come hang out with me on twitter @stanwithyams

Xuxi’s luck quickly ran out. It didn’t take long for Chief Huang’s choice car shop sent over their invoice for the damage. Xuxi was right; the windshield was uncleanable, as was the front vent. The custom bulletproof glass would have to be replaced, which was no easy feat on the wallet. As soon as his father finished reading the invoice, he handed it to Xuxi. Xuxi offered his allowance for the next month, but his father shook his head.

“This will come out of your own pocket,” he said. “Not mine.”

Xuxi wasn’t even sure what that meant. Without counting his allowance, or holiday deposits, or anything else his father had given him, his bank account was… empty. “I don’t have my own pocket,” Xuxi chuckled nervously.

“Then you will make one. Red Wing Cafe. You have an interview at 5:15 sharp, tomorrow”

With that, his father turned donned a deep olive green suit jacket, headed for work.   
  
“Tomorrow?” Xuxi exclaimed. He chased his dad as he turned towards the entranceway. “But I don’t even have a resume, I need to prepare for the questions. Also, in the morning???”

His father stopped in his tracks, but didn’t turn. “Of course in the morning. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t frozen like a __ up on that roof. It is far too late for you to start complaining now.” He strode out the front door without another word, and Xuxi sighed as soon as the door slammed behind him. 

Obviously, Xuxi had never worked a day in his life. Between school, track, and the countless extra lessons his father scheduled for him, he didn’t have the time. Now, he didn’t have a choice. He’d have to maintain his mounting schedule of coursework, try to cultivate a new social life at his new school, and now, apparently, sling cappuccinos to his classmates in the morning. This was fine. He could do this. 

The invoice crumpled slightly in his fingers.

He was fine.

The next morning, Xuxi greeted the crack of dawn with absolute disgust. His head swam from lack of sleep, books and papers still sprawled across his desk. It was still the first week, but somehow he already had three essays and a research project looming over him at all times. He had almost stayed up through the night, just to guarantee his eyes would be open by the time his interview rolled around. But after researching “Best Resume Formats” and “Interview Questions for Baristas” and wasting time on “Top Ten Latte Artists in the World,” he finally collapsed into bed.

Since the Academy campus was relatively small, the Red Wing Cafe was the only other place to find food aside from the cafeteria. It was new, built after Xuxi and Yuqi could look after themselves, so Xuxi had never been inside. It was a modern looking building with a single angle roof and painted a deep, cold grey.

The air conditioning was welcomingly harsh as he pushed through through heavy glass door. A tiny bell sounded to alert his entrance, but otherwise the cafe was silent. He had arrived ten minutes early for his interview, but didn’t see anyone. He called out once, with no answer. He called out again, more forcefully, and heard the crash of metal against metal tumble out from the back room. He flinched as there was one more thunk and someone yelped. 

“Ow, fuck— sorry, we’re not open yet!” The voice called. It was light, almost musical, even as he continued to curse in pain.

“I’m here for an interview?” Xuxi shouted.

The voice cursed one more time, before its owner finally emerged from behind the counter.

The boy looked impossibly small in a classic black polo, his uniform cap in his hand as he scratched at the back of his head with the other. A fluff of bright blonde hair danced around his black rimmed glasses, framing a face made entirely of angles.

“Aren’t you supposed to be here at 5:15?” He asked. It seemed more panicked than rude, although Xuxi was sure he’d interrupted something important.

“On time is late,” Xuxi shrugged. “Are you okay?” He pointed at his own head and the boy smiled shyly. For how sharp his features were, his smile was incredibly bright and scrunched up his whole face.

“Don’t tell anyone, but there’s a great space behind the mixer cup stock for naps. I was studying a little late last night, so… Really, don’t tell anyone. You just startled me a little and I hit the shelves…” He giggled at himself. “Anyways, I’m Dejun.” He extended a small, slender hand over the counter as he replaced his cap. Xuxi fumbled with his resume before taking it, careful in his grip. Something about Dejun seemed extremely fragile, and the last thing he needed was to crush his superior’s hand before he even started the interview. 

“Are you the manager?”

Dejun laughed, his mouth opening wide to let out one loud, “Ha!” before shaking his head. “The manager isn’t here yet. Actually, he’s rarely here, so it’ll be a real treat if he shows up today.” Dejun winked. 

Xuxi’s brow furrowed in confusion. “But the interview…”

“You’re Xuxi, right? Huang Xuxi?” Xuxi nodded and Dejun inhaled through his teeth. “Did you really think you were going to have to do an interview to get hired here? I was told to start training you as soon as you got in. So, congratulations! Welcome to the Red Wing team. Want a hat?”

Xuxi’s brow only furrowed more. “Wait, that’s not at all fair.”

Dejun shrugged. His shoulders were like two tiny triangles pushing up through his shirt. “I don’t make the rules, dude. Trust me on this, I’d just take it. The faster we can get through training, the faster you can pay—” Dejun’s eyes went a little wide before he stumbled and corrected himself, “the faster you can get paid.”

Xuxi looked down at the resume he had worked so hard on. Dejun reached for it. “I can at least give it to the manager, if you want? For the records.”

Xuxi sighed and handed it over. Dejun treated it with care, slipping into the back room before returning with a hat for Xuxi and two simple black aprons. “Ready to get addicted to espresso shots?” Dejun said brightly. He held out one of the aprons to Xuxi.

Xuxi grinned and took it. “As I’ll ever be.”

Dejun was a surprisingly good teacher, staying patient with Xuxi’s incredibly clumsy hands. Usually he was quite coordinated, but all the levers and buttons and the overwhelming smell of coffee grounds made Xuxi fumble more than he wanted. Anytime he seemed to get frustrated, Dejun would pat him on the arm, offering some croissant or cookie he’d snatched from the glass display case. Xuxi warned him that he was positively reinforcing bad behavior, and Dejun shrugged. “I’m not your dad, I’m your coworker. As long as you don’t die of steam burns, I don’t have much invested in reinforcement,” he explained. “If anything, I’m just trying to suck up to my seniors.”

Xuxi knocked the steam wand with his bare hand as he turned, and he recoiled. Dejun just snorted as he handed him a cold, wet towel. “What do you mean, your senior?” Xuxi asked. “I’m a freshman, just like every other freshman.”

“And I’m a senior,” Dejun smirked. “In high school.”

Xuxi just blinked at him, and Dejun took the towel from him to safely wipe down the steam wand. “I told my mom that I didn’t want to go to college, so she made me get a job. My dad knows some staff at the school, so they set me up. And since I’m an incredibly boring person, the crazy background checks weren’t too bad. And the pay?” Dejun put his fingers to his lips in a chef’s kiss. “I honestly might just work here after I graduate. Voice lessons don’t really pay for themselves.”

“Voice? Do you sing?” Xuxi asked.

Dejun searched his face, as if to check if Xuxi was sincerely interested. He hid a shy smile. “I want to. I mean, yes. But I’d love to be a singer. Professionally.” He shrugged a shoulder and scrunched his nose. “Who knows, though. It’s pretty hard to even get local gigs, let alone be big or anything. It’s a stupid young person dream, I know, but I want to try at least.”

“I don’t think that’s stupid,” Xuxi frowned. “And I don’t think you’re a boring person. But, you should definitely sing something to prove that you aren’t.”

Dejun blushed and shook his head frantically. “No, no way.” 

But Xuxi was already clapping his hands and chanting, “Sing, sing, sing!”

“The cafe hours start in like two minutes! I can’t just be singing when people come in.” Dejun continued to protest, but seemed to be lighting up a bit at the attention.

Xuxi just kept clapping. “Then you better sing something quick, or this will be very annoying to your customers.” He continued his chant of, “Sing! Sing!” even louder, and Dejun huffed once before closing his eyes.

Xuxi immediately went silent as the first notes spilled out of Dejun’s mouth. His voice was a bit shaky at first, not warmed up. But as he steadied his breath and rounded his jaw around each sound, there was no other word but lovely. The song he sang was an old ballad Xuxi had heard his mom sing in the car. He would groan and whine every time she did, but she would only sing it louder and more out of tune. It was a desperate and pining love song that usually drove Xuxi crazy. But something about the clear, open tones of Dejun’s voice, filled with emotion as he sunk into the performance, made every note worth listening to.

And he did, soaking in as much as Dejun was willing to sing. Dejun made it through the first verse before opening an eye to spy on Xuxi. He broke, cracking up as soon as he saw Xuxi’s dumbstruck face, his eyes two wide saucers over an open mouthed smile.

“Okay, that’s it! That’s all you get! Stop looking at me like that,” Dejun giggled. 

Xuxi finally closed his mouth, but didn’t stop smiling. “You’re really good.”

“Stop.”

“I’m serious! You should be a singer.”

Dejun moved to protest again, but the doorbell rang as the first haggard student dragged her feet through the door. He motioned to Xuxi for him to wait behind him, and Xuxi reluctantly complied. Dejun greeted her by name, and did the same with the next three students that came in. He seemed to know at least the orders for every early bird that walked through the door, if not their names as well. Xuxi just watched him work, frantically searching for backstock whenever Dejun asked for it and serving drip coffees. 

Dejun had the patience of a god. Not only with Xuxi as he continuously mixed up the coconut milk and almond milk cartons, but with the students coming in. Xuxi was no stranger to the poor respect his peers had for customer service, but was appalled when lack of caffeine was added to the mix.

“It was actually a lot better today,” Dejun admitted once Xuxi had mentioned it after the morning rush. Dejun swung his legs from his high seat on the counter, Xuxi leaning against the wall across from him. Dejun had made himself a simple americano, and gave Xuxi a sweetly spiced latte that they were debuting for the fall season. “Because of you.”

“Me? I don’t think I actually helped much. Sorry again, about the almond milk.”

Dejun shook his head. He hugged his hands around his coffee, hunched over like he could fill his whole body with its warmth. He chose his words carefully, trying to jump over the hot coals of touchy subjects. The rich kids had so many. “You’re…easily recognizable, I think. Most people straightened up as soon as they saw you. I think having the owner’s son behind me might have saved me a little.”

“It’s not like I’m going to tell on them for being coffee snobs.”

Dejun chuckled. “Even so, I don’t think your face helped.” 

Xuxi grimaced. “It’s not like I was trying to be intimidating, I just… They were being really mean. I got annoyed. Plus, I was confused. My face gets angry when I get confused, I can’t help it.”

“Well, thank you. Even if you didn’t mean it. You were actually a big help.”

“So I’ve got the job?” Xuxi asked.

“You already had the job, dude.”

Xuxi shrugged, looking down into the swirling saccharine foam. “Your opinion still matters.”

Dejun pretended to think for a moment before finally nodding. “Sure. I guess you can stay. It’s not like we have employees to spare.”

“Can I work on your shift, then?”

Dejun stuttered. “Me? Why?”

“I want to hear you sing again.”

Dejun blushed, but looked disgusted. “Fine, cheeseball. We’ll see. Now get to your class, you’re going to be late. Freshman!” He added with a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the slightest bit unbeta-ed, sorz about the weird ending im in the middle of a brainstorming sesh comments keep me alive


	7. The First Strike

Xuxi was absolutely exhausted by the time his combat class rolled around again, and prayed that he wouldn’t have to fight again. He was sadly mistaken, as his name was called within the first three matches. He dragged his feet up the stairs and entered the cage. The bright florescent lights made him squint, and he looked down in the crowd where it was darker to stave off his growing migraine. 

Then he saw him. He seemed to blend in seamlessly with the crowd, his black hair combed flat and smooth. But Xuxi would recognize his face anywhere. What he didn’t recognize, was the smile. 

The man who’d climbed up on his father’s car was not only here in his combat class, but he was smiling without a care in the world. He had his hand on the arm of the boy next to him, bemused at whatever he’d said. If Guanheng’s smile beamed, this man’s smile sparkled. His eyes crinkled just slightly, soft and kind, and the corners of his mouth curled up like a mischievous cat’s. Xuxi found himself wandering to that side of the cage before he could stop himself, ignored as the professor pulled another name from his velvet bag.

Xuxi didn’t even look as his opponent climbed the steps. It wasn’t until he heard his own name barked that he gasped, straightening slightly. The man in the crowd finally turned, and their eyes met. Xuxi felt his heart flutter, surely just from the residual panic of that night. The man’s face fell cold as Xuxi stared, hardening into a glare that Xuxi could remember.

“Huang Xuxi?” The Professor called again, growing impatient. “If you’re quite done ogling the girls, you have a fight to lose.” Xuxi turned just as the Professor sounded the countdown buzzer. He barely caught his opponent as he jumped Xuxi in pure aggression.

Xuxi’s brain was slow, but his body was quicker. The boy he was fighting was smaller than him, quick and loud but without much mass. He’d quite literally thrown his body at Xuxi, so Xuxi grabbed him around the middle and threw him back. He launched across the octagon, clattering to the floorboards on his back. He quickly rolled back up, like the floor had burned him on contact. He stared Xuxi down in what Xuxi assumed was supposed to be a threatening manner. 

“Oh, weight class boy!” Xuxi exclaimed happily. 

“My name is Yangyang!” The boy yelled, a battle cry as he came at Xuxi again with a flying kick. Xuxi easily dodged it, and Yangyang landed lightly with a hand to the ground. “If you were paying attention, you would know that.”

Xuxi shrugged, which seemed to only make Yangyang angrier. He came at Xuxi low, aiming for his legs to throw off Xuxi’s balance. Yuqi did it all the time, so Xuxi immediately crouched to meet him head on. They grappled shoulder to shoulder, which Yangyang was obviously not expecting. He was unprepared for Xuxi’s strength as he pulled Yangyang’s hands to his back with one hand. Xuxi held his other hand against Yangyang’s neck as he pushed down, keeping his tiny boy head safe while placing his knee between Yangyang’s shoulder blades to hold him down. 

Xuxi almost laughed at much of Yangyang’s head his hand could engulf, but refrained to protect the boy’s pride. Instead he leaned down as YangYang struggled and said, “I’d really recommend just staying down.”

Yangyang jerked against his hand again, but the pain against his spine only sharpened as Xuxi dug his knee further into soft tissue. “Fuck you,” Yangyang spat. “You’re just scared to fight me for real.”

Xuxi scoffed. “For real? Kid, I am fighting you for real. And I’m beating you.”

The Professor finished his countdown and Xuxi smirked. “And I just finished beating you.” He let Yangyang go without a second look. He squinted into the crowd, but couldn’t find the man again before he was whipped around by a small hand on his shoulder.

Xuxi was on the ground before pain bloomed in his cheek. Yangyang had come at him with a superman punch with his back turned and the timer off. The class descended into chaos. Xuxi tasted copper, and spat a weak spray of blood onto the boards. Yangyang stood over him, chest heaving. His eyes were wild, an angry thirst in them too sharp for his young face. In the next second, the Professor grabbed him by the back of the collar and threw him back.

“No rules, right?!” Yangyang screamed. “No technique!” He laughed, holding his hands up. 

The Professor bent down to get into his face, and it immediately wiped the grin off his face. “Get yourself to the headmaster’s office before I take you there in a body bag.” 

Yangyang rolled his eyes, but quickly ducked out of the cage and sprinted out of the room as their classmates tried to rush him. 

“Silence! Leave it!” The Professor boomed, and the room fell to quiet murmurs. The ones who had went after YangYang turned back, and Xuxi noticed Guangheng amongst them before his vision became a watery blur. The Professor turned, and threw a towel down to Xuxi. Xuxi immediately buried his face in it, pressing the tears back into his eyes before pressing it against the light trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. 

“Never turn your back on an opponent,” The Professor said sternly, before sighing. “Can you stand, kid?” Xuxi nodded, and clambored to his feet. He regretted it immediately as the room spun and he stumbled back against the cage. His six hours of sleep over the last two days caught up with him all at once, mixing with the bile and blood in the back of his throat. Xuxi heard hurried steps before two hands gripped his elbows. He vaguely realized his eyes were closed, and he managed to get one open. 

Yuqi hovered over him, Guanheng close behind. She tried to support his weight, but stumbled. Guanheng ran to catch Xuxi under the shoulders, and Yuqi batted him away. “Just let me,” he said, his tone low and strong. He continued to sling Xuxi’s arm over his shoulder as Yuqi protested. Xuxi ruffled her hair and shook his head. None of their worries were worth collapsing before he reached the nurse’s office. She clenched her fists, but walked out in front of them with arms wide, clearing the crowd so the boys could pass.

The volume of the room grew slowly until they passed through the gym door and it closed behind them, abruptly abandoning them in a silent hallway. They made their way down it slowly. Xuxi was still able to support his own weight, but Guanheng caught him whenever he lost balance. Yuqi stayed behind.

Xuxi spoke first, the awkwardness more painful than his face. “Well that was embarrassing,” he slurred past the swelling.

“Don’t try to talk,” Guanheng warned. “You’ll keep the wound open. But yes, that was probably pretty embarrassing,” he laughed. 

“That kid’s got sharp knuckles.”

“Yangyang’s pretty scrappy. I’m not surprised though, he’s a bit crazy. I heard he graduated high school early to come to the academy, so he’s actually a year younger than us. Isn’t that wild?”

Xuxi grunted in response. If Guanheng knew about Yangyang, already knew who he and Yuqi were, then maybe… 

“So who was the girl you were so distracted by?” Guanheng asked. Didn’t he just tell Xuxi to try not to talk? Xuxi shook his head.

“Not a girl,” he said. His voice seemed to be slowly returning, as the initial swelling finally dipped.

“Oh!” Guanheng said. He smiled, but it looked more like he was just showing his teeth to a dentist. “That’s fine, I’m cool with all that, I’m not like… You know, but love is love.”

Xuxi pulled the towel from his face. “No! No, no, no.” He waved his hands in front of him. “I’m not… I mean I’m not either. It’s cool with me, too! But I’m not. No. I just saw someone I recognized from… Somewhere else.”

“Got it. Who was it?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“Maybe I do?” Guanheng suggested. “I’m pretty in the know, somehow… I guess people just trust me with information,” he said coyly.

Xuxi had guessed right. He did his best to describe his attacker without using words like “attacker” or “could glare me to death.”

Guanheng thought for a moment before suggesting, “Lee Yong Qin? The third year? He’s pretty nice. Quiet, but nice.”

“Nice?!” Xuxi spat incredulously.

Guanheng looked confused. “Yeah, he’s been really kind to the first years since he’s in a lot of our classes and we’re all lost as hell.”

“About that, why is he in the first year classes? Isn’t there a third year combat class?”

Guanheng nodded. “And he’s in that one, too. I heard he actually finished all his requirements for graduating early, so he’s just retaking classes.”

“Why doesn’t he just leave?”

Guanheng shrugged. “My knowledge runs out there. Although I do hear some people calling him Ten. Maybe he’s Thai?”

Xuxi screamed a little internally, but kept his cool and just nodded. He’d have to ask his mom for his old grammar books to brush up. 

“Where did you guys meet?”

“Outside of school. At a cafe,” Xuxi quickly added. That seemed safe enough.

Guanheng smiled. “That’s nice. I love making new friends.”

Xuxi winced, and passed it off as face pain. Guanheng pouted and supported him a bit more so they could navigate campus faster. “Is that why you’re doing this? To make new friends?” Xuxi tried to say it as jokingly as possible. 

Guanheng still looked taken aback, hesitating a bit before answering, “No. Yes, but no. I just don’t think it would be safe for you to be walking around by yourself right now.” They walked in silence a while before Guanheng continued, “I would like to, though. If you want.”

“Like to what?”

“Be your friend,” Guanheng mumbled. He looked up at Xuxi expectantly, and Xuxi could only give a small smile in response. He was saved as they finally made it to the nurse’s office. She barely flinched as Xuxi pulled the bloody towel away. She replaced it with sterile gauze, and waved Guanheng away. He froze in the doorway with a look of concern. Xuxi gave him a quick thumbs up, and the nurse more angrily shooed him out the door. 

“I’ll tell Yuqi that you’re okay!” He called, before the sound of rapid running steps echoed back the way they came. 

“Isn’t he nice,” the nurse joked.

“Excessively so,” Xuxi sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last comment request was a little dramatic but i do really really love them <3


	8. The First Rejection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this ones a bit short! big things coming :3

Despite Ten’s best efforts, Xuxi saw him everywhere after that day. Passing in the halls, in his combat class, on the quad eating lunch in one of his and Yuqi’s secret spots. Xuxi tried not to draw attention to himself when it happened at first. The last thing he needed was Ten jumping him in the middle of the hallway, and starting a fight that Xuxi would certainly lose. Maybe it was because of Yangyang, but he found himself a bit more wary of wiry shorter men nowadays.

Eventually, it seemed too often to be coincidence though. Xuxi almost convinced himself that Ten was trying to be seen on purpose. One day he tested it, and called out to Ten by name. He was met with a look of absolute horror, comically distorting Ten’s normally serene face. It was such a great shift from the small smiles he would give his other classmates, that Xuxi hid a laugh behind his hand. Ten started to stride towards him in the hallway as he did, and Xuxi didn’t stick around to find out what would happen next.

After that, Xuxi became fascinated. He was determined to make Ten break, to melt his angelic outer shell with the heat just Xuxi’s presence brought. It didn’t bother him that Ten treated him so differently than the other freshman. Rather, he felt special. Instead of the general neutrality he so often portrayed, Xuxi got a taste of something wild and real. It was addicting, poking and prodding at Ten’s sanity so easily. 

By the second week, Xuxi called out to Ten every time he saw him. He would search him out, just to say hello or good morning. Their classmates would whisper and giggle, Ten’s face going obviously warm. Xuxi knew he was being a brat. He knew this man also obviously had some conflict with his father that he still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of. But he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to.

One day, Xuxi spotted the back of Ten’s head in a crowd of students on his way to his last class of the day. By this point, he could recognize any angle of Ten, even the dips of his shadow across a brick wall. He called out, but Ten didn’t turn. Xuxi called again, a whine seeping into his voice, but Ten didn’t turn. “Ten-ge!” he shouted, only a few feet away, hoping an unearned nickname might wake the sleeping tiger. It did.

Ten spun on his heels, stopping abruptly in the hallway. Xuxi nearly ran into him, stopping mere inches from smothering Ten’s face in his chest. 

“Why do you keep following me?”

Xuxi smiled. “If I always have you in front of me, I never have to watch my back.”

Ten scoffed, and started to walk away again but Xuxi caught him by the arm. Ten looked back in wild disgust, like Xuxi’s hand was dripping toxic acid onto his sleeve. Xuxi quickly retracted, but kept the narrow hallway blocked with his body.

“What do you  _ want _ ?” Ten hissed. 

What did Xuxi want? He wasn’t entirely sure himself. He hadn’t really thought that far. He was convinced his teasing would end in a flurry of tiny fists, like it always did with Yuqi. That’s just how their friendship worked. Friendship maybe, was at least what Xuxi was expecting.

“I just want to be your friend,” Xuxi said gently. “Can't I be your friend?”

Ten crossed his arms. “What could I possibly get out of being your friend?”

Xuxi held his arms out wide and gave his best Cheshire grin. “Headmaster’s son! Isn’t that enough?” he said. He was only half kidding. He never had someone hate him this much. His father, easily. But he was loveable enough, wasn’t he? Charming, at least? Ten was unmoved, and only clenched his jaw tighter before Xuxi realized the mistake he made.

Ten pointed a sharp finger at him. “That is exactly why I  _ don't _ want to be your friend.” 

“Okay, you have a point. But he doesn’t have to know! I never told him anything, I promise. Scout’s honor. So technically, you owe me.”

Ten looked genuinely upset now. Xuxi was starting to regret how aggressive he knew he was being, but he saw something in Ten that made him not want to let go. 

“Look, I don't wanna hurt your feelings Young Master,” Ten started venomously, “But there's no way in this universe or any other that we can and will be friends. We won't talk to each other, we won't acknowledge each other's existence, you won't even know I exist. You don’t even know who I am.”

“I do know who you are. You’re the man who vandalized my dad’s car.”

Ten laughed, unexpectedly. “You really, really don't know who I am. Actually, you have no fucking clue.”

“Then tell me, Xuxi pleaded. “Show me who you are, beyond car vandal.”

Ten shook his head. “I'll let everyone else do that for me. It wouldn't it shouldn't be long now until it happens.”

“Until what happens?”

“Until you see me for who I really am,” Ten responded.

“You spray painted my dad's car when we first met. I don't see how it would get any worse. Besides, the other freshman seems to think you’re nice. Can’t I get some of that? Just a little?”

Ten smiled. It seemed just genuine enough to give Xuxi hope, but it was just a flutter across his lips.

“You seem really nice,” Ten said. At least nicer than your father.”

“Thanks, I guess? Low bar,” Xuxi responded.

“And since you're so nice,” Ten continued, not paying him any attention, “Do me a favor and never speak to me again. Can you do that, big man?” And with that, Ten pushed past him, roughly shoulder checking him into the wall harder than Lucas would have expected. Ten looked back, almost regretful, and then strode away. Lucas looked around, hoping no one had seen this tiny man throw him across the room. He sighed. He knew the academy would come with challenges, and this was certainly one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y u so obsess w/ me


	9. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! been a bit since i posted, but i've been focused on getting this story outlined and trying to win nanowrimo. obviously i didnt (/.\\) but im still having fun with this one, so i'll be continuing this fic. thank u guys so much 4 your amazing comments and even kudos, they really keep me going!!

“I couldn’t find shit.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Xuxi replied. 

Yuqi fell into step with him as he walked past her in the hallway, kicking off the wall she had been leaning against like an old school bully. She waved a red folder around in his face, its paper contents threatening to spill out across the floor at any moment. “I couldn’t find shit on Huang Guanheng. He’s clean. Too clean.  _ Far  _ too clean.”

Xuxi had done his best to avoid Guanheng that week. He had failed miserably. Guanheng was intent on holding on to his request to be Xuxi’s friend, and seemed to be aiming high towards best, if possible. Yuqi held tight to her throne, and seethed in his presence. Xuxi at least tried to play along, agreeing to study dates in the library and the occasional lunchtime basketball game.

In fact, Xuxi was sure Guanheng thought all was going well. Their conversations were never particularly deep, but Guanheng was uniquely skilled in making Xuxi laugh. Sometimes, even just the way Guanheng would trot down the hall next to him, chest puffed and shorter legs struggling to keep up, would put a smile on Xuxi’s face. But then, Guanheng would bring up his father. Or Xuxi would mention him off hand, and Guanheng would latch on, asking questions Xuxi didn’t want to answer. He would ask about Xuxi’s home life, his mom, about Yuqi when she wasn’t there. And with Yuqi’s now fruitless search, it all felt like a slow, churning water wheel in his stomach.

“I even asked my mom if she recognized the name, but she didn’t give me much either. I could tell she knew who it was, but wasn’t giving me anything.”

“You asked your mom about him?” Xuxi shook himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t make sense of any of it.

“Sure, why not? Yuqi bounced down the hallway, her feet tapping a quick double time to keep up with Xuxi’s strides. “But then she made a big speech about friends close and enemies closer, so I didn’t really listen.”

Xuxi sighed. Wasn’t “friends close, enemies closer” a bad sign? Did Yuqi’s mom see Guanheng as an enemy? And how could a twenty year old student possibly make an enemy out of one of the most powerful women in the country? Everything felt so murky. 

“All we know is that he’s from Macau. His mother is a councilwoman. Beyond that?” Yuqi waved the folder around again and Xuxi watched the stack of paper inside shift out almost completely before falling back into place. 

“Isn’t that enough?” Xuxi asked. “His mom’s a politician.”

“In  _ Macau, _ Xuxi.”

“Maybe she’s looking for mainland support.”

Yuqi considered it for a bit, then nodded. Her eyes looked wild, and Xuxi didn’t love where this was taking her. “Mainland connections could be helpful. Maybe she thinks our father’s are more connected than they are… that they have ties to politics, elections… maybe she thinks your father could help rig an election!”

Xuxi guffawed. “That’s impossible.”

“Maybe it is. But maybe she doesn’t know that, and sent her son after you to get the scoop!” Yuqi slapped the folder with the knuckle of her other hand. “This is even juicier than i thought it was.”

Xuxi stopped, turning to face Yuqi. He could see her wild gears turning. Usually, it was the cutest thing to watch. Her eyes went wide, sparkling in the light. Her mouth parted just a little, lips pretty and pink and painted. Xuxi could watch Yuqi think up schemes and theories and conspiracies for hours. But this one pulled him out of his rosy daze. “I think we might be getting ahead of ourselves. Why don’t we… Why don’t we just ask him?”

Yuqi gasped. “That’s a great idea!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You work at the cafe tomorrow morning, right?” 

“Yes… Speaking of which, you haven’t really asked me--”

“Perfect. Invite him to coffee tomorrow morning. Make up something about a friendship special, or on the house, I don’t care. Whatever friends do. And then we’ll ambush him!”

“Ambush?”

“I’ll be there to catch him off guard! Catch him in the act of buttering you up, and drill him about his mom!”

Xuxi could see the film noir scenario Yuqi was trying to lay out, and the drama of it did appeal to Xuxi a bit. Maybe he had been too lenient, too stagnant with Guanheng. Maybe what they really needed to get to the bottom of this was a little theatre.

“Fine,” he agreed. “But don’t actually surprise him. He seems a bit jumpy as it is, and you’d probably just give him a heart attack.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Yuqi smiled toothy and wide and gave him a quick hug, and maybe that made it all worth it. She disappeared down the hallway as a mess of orange curls, surely off to compile what research she had for tomorrow.

Xuxi’s heart flipped. He pulled out his phone, inviting Guanheng to an early morning coffee before their first classes. Xuxi was buying. Hgh responded with a slew of thumbs up emojis, a couple of sunglass emojis, and an avocado. Xuxi stuffed his phone back in his pocket without responding. 

Tomorrow. 

By tomorrow morning, he had to be sure.

Yuqi arrived at the cafe a sharp ten minutes after opening, her red folder clutched tightly in her hands. Dejun asked for her order, and she barked, “Iced Americano,” with a cold stare. Dejun blinked a little, but held his own.

“Any room for cream?” he asked gently. Xuxi watched them from afar, like two shelter cats meeting for the first time. 

“None.” 

Dejun nodded, and started to give her total before she leaned across the counter. The tips of dj’s ears turned bright red. 

“But 4 pumps of syrup. Please,” she whispered.

Dejun nodded again, the corners of his mouth sneaking upwards. He yelled, “Iced Americano! Black!” as he handed the cup to Xuxi with a wink, and Yuqi shot Dejun with a couple of finger guns as she left cash on the counter and walked away.

Guanheng arrived nearly half an hour later, cutting it close against the first class of the day. Xuxi took his break to sit with him, and Xuxi could feel Yuqi’s eyes burrowing into them from a corner table. He’d barely asked Guanheng how his sugar cookie frappuccino was, before he saw her get up and slink over to the table. They didn’t have time for all the tension building and false security lulling, so he waved her to them. 

Guanheng turned with a bright smile. “Yuqi! I didn’t know you were here, too!” he jumped to his feet to grab her a chair, and scooched his own out of the way. Yuqi saddled up close to Xuxi and across the table from Guanheng, before slamming the folder down on the table with a medium-loud slap. She opened the folder without a word, and tapped her finger on a picture of Councilwoman Huang.

“My mom?” Guanheng asked. “Yes, that’s her.”

Yuqi rolled her eyes. “I know that’s her. Obviously.” Guanheng took a tiny sip as she continued. “But that’s about all I know. And I know even less about you, Huang Guanheng. If that’s even your real name.”

“It’s not, really. I mean Wong Kunheng is more accurate, but i suppose you’re used to that with Yukhei.” Yuqi narrowed her eyes. “Alright, I see that’s not what you meant. What do you mean, then?”

“I mean that you’re an enigma. An anomaly. I could dig up anything I wanted on every student in this school. I could tell you what their father does, what their mother does, how many sisters and brothers. Allergies, what they had for breakfast that morning. The media doesn’t miss a damn thing when it comes to the kinds of people sending their kids to this school, especially a politician like your mother. but you… You don’t exist. So tell me— who are you really, Guanheng?”

“A pop tart.”

“What?” Xuxi blinked.

“I had a pop tart for breakfast. And i exist, just not… Publicly. I don’t have any social media. Pictures of me are reported unless approved. Same with my mother, my family. The headmaster was informed to keep my records as sealed as possible. Privacy at all costs. It’s not like my mom is particularly overprotective or crazy like that, she’s just… She’s just really careful. And i respect that. It’s just easier to be a blank slate in politics, sometimes. I’m sure you guys understand.” Something had shifted slightly in Guanheng, like an electric fence had been turned off. Still a barrier, but not quite so alive.

“Then can’t you tell us? Something, anything about your life?” Xuxi asked. “I understand wanting privacy, but it just feels like secrecy.” Guanheng took another small sip of his frappuccino, letting it sit in his mouth as he thought. He took a deep breath after a moment and leaned in with a small peaceful smile. “You guys are my friends,” he said. Xuxi glanced at Yuqi, but she didn’t return it. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Then start at the beginning,” Yuqi commanded.

The table fell quiet as Guanheng collected his thoughts. When he finally spoke, it was more even and quiet than Xuxi had ever heard him speak. “My mom has always been… A bit of an overachiever. My parents married young. You know how military couples are. Sometimes I wonder if she ever regretted it; she never says she does, but I see it sometimes in her eyes. The lost time. My dad shipped out again pretty soon after they got married and had me. I was the last of four. I guess he was finally satisfied after having a son.”

“You have three older sisters?” Yuqi asked, a bit incredulous.

Guanheng nodded and smiled. “All pretty, all smart, all make me feel dumb on a daily basis. It’s really like having four moms.” Guanheng stared into the middle distance for a second before continuing. “Obviously, my very smart mother got bored. So she threw herself into local politics. Macau’s never been short on intrigue, so it kept her occupied for a while. She was pretty good at it. Until my dad… Well, you know how it goes. Military couples.” Guanheng gave them a pained smile, quickly breaking eye contact. 

Yuqi looked down as well. Xuxi asked, “Until what?” 

Yuqi slapped him on the arm. 

“It’s okay, Yuqi. Until my dad… Passed away,” hgh explained.

Xuxi slapped himself, mentally. “I’m so sorry, dude.”

“Was it on duty?” Yuqi asked softly.

Guanheng shrugged. “Kind of. They were loading ammunition for a campaign he wasn’t even scheduled to go on, and one shell just kind of… went off. In his hands.” Xuxi swore under his breath, and another weak smile passed across Guanheng’s face. “Accidents happen,” he murmured. “Or at least, that’s what they told us. Accidents happen.” His words hung heavy in the air for a moment too long. Guanheng continued, dancing around the awkwardness with practiced ease. “After that, my mom got a bit obsessive. With the four of us finally growing up, politics was all she had left. It wasn’t long until her obsession became a career, became a lifestyle, became all of our lives. We weren’t particularly wealthy, we weren’t from a well known family. My mom’s just that good at what she does. I guess that’s why there’s not much information on us to begin with, let alone my mom’s insistence on privacy. I still can’t tell if she keeps us so hidden to protect her image, or to protect us from it. So she’s out there, doing it all, and I’m in here,” Guanheng held up his hands like a magician’s assistant, “Doing fuck all, but looking good doing it. Staying as far out of trouble as she could think to put me.”

Yuqi nodded and sighed, but still looked troubled. “Now that all of that is all…out here, I’m still confused. Why us?”

“What do you mean, why us?” Guanheng asked. “I just gave you my life story, that doesn’t particularly relate to you.”

“She means why did you decide to follow us around?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Yuqi grumbled.

“That’s exactly how you meant it!” Xuxi was tired, and at this point a little embarrassed. Guanheng meant well, regardless of his position. But Yuqi was stubborn. She was always stubborn.

Guanheng laughed, but it didn’t sound sincere. It seemed a bit hurt, and Xuxi felt gutted that they’d done something to hurt someone so pure. He couldn’t be free of the blame; he had let Yuqi go on this wild research journey for the past week, kept secrets from him. Xuxi chewed on his bottom lip as he realized that they weren’t being careful. They were just being bad friends.

“Am I bothering you?” Guanheng asked.

Yuqi started to speak, but Xuxi tapped her with his knee to stop her. “No,” he said instead. He ran a hand over his face. “You’re not bothering us, I promise.”

“Okay,” Guanheng said slowly. “It’s okay if I am, though. I’ve been told I can get a little annoying. I get it.”

“No! No,” Xuxi started to reach his hands out but wasn’t even sure where he was reaching. He pulled them back into his armpits. “No, you’re not annoying. It’s just that we… It’s hard to explain. Yuqi and I, our fathers are a bit important. Connected, you know. Most of the people here are, but—”

“But his dad’s the founder,” Yuqi interjected, getting impatient. “And that means a lot to people here. Too much. When people buddy up to him, it’s because they want something. Their parents need connections, they’re looking for an easy A. It’s never just to, ‘make friends,’ or whatever.”

“I wouldn’t say  _ never— _ ”

“I’m sorry about your dad and everything. But your mom is obviously still looking for mainland connections, and I can’t just ignore that. So what are you hiding?” she snapped.

“Yuqi, that’s enough!” Xuxi surprised himself about how forceful he sounded. The table went quiet as Guanheng hung his head.

“I just didn’t get why you guys hated them so much,” he finally said, just barely above a whisper. “Your fathers… Sure, they’re important. Maybe they’re strict. But they’re also the reason you can relax into success. Not everyone has that privilege. I probably shouldn’t have tried so hard to get you to see that. I guess I don’t know the whole picture, but… How could I? When you keep everything between the two of you, and never let anyone else in?” He picked up his bag and stood. “I don’t have many friends here yet, so I guess I just… Got too excited.” His doe eyes went a little misty, and he quickly blinked it away. “I really wasn’t trying to hide anything, I promise, so I just… Sorry.” He gripped his bag strap tight and fled, not looking back as Xuxi scrambled to his feet and called out to him. 

“Just let him go,” Yuqi sighed.

Xuxi turned on Yuqi with his fists clenched. “I can’t believe you did that,” he spat.

“What? He’ll be fine, we’re all adults here,” Yuqi grumbled. She crossed her arms, but avoided eye contact.

“That doesn’t mean you can be cruel to someone,” Xuxi scoffed. “His dad died, his mom is thousands of miles away, don’t you think we owe him the benefit of the doubt? He obviously didn’t mean it. We were wrong. We were the assholes.”

“So suddenly you’re on his side? Who was so suspicious of him a week ago? I spent this whole week trying to get dirt on him. You let me. You were the one so butthurt about this.”

“I changed my mind! People change their minds, Yuqi!”

“He hurt you!”

_ “No! _ ” Xuxi realized they were yelling, and people were turning to stare. He tried to lower his voice. “He didn’t. I just got hurt by myself, it wasn’t his fault. It was never his fault.”

“It doesn’t matter if he didn’t mean to do it. He still did! You were still hurt!”

“This is stupid, why are you so invested in this? You heard him, you know we were wrong. Why do you care so much about me being sad about a few words for like, a day?”

“Because I care, Xuxi!” Yuqi screamed. She stood, scrambling to collect the papers sprawled across the table and stuff them into her bag. “Why is it so hard to believe that people  _ care _ about you?!”

She stomped out of the cafe, and Xuxi didn’t bother to stop her. His eyes felt hot with the stares of the cafe goers around him, and begged they wouldn’t stick around through the rest of his shift. He’d started that day with two real friends, a personal record, and now he’d somehow hurt them both. He pulled his cap low over his eyes, and headed behind the counter before the tears could fall.

Dejun placed his hand on Xuxi’s elbow as Xuxi struggled with his apron strings. He smiled softly, and Xuxi turned his back to him with a sigh. Dejun tied his apron with deft fingers, and give his back a little pat once he was finished. “You alright?” he murmured.

“Yes… No,” Xuxi admitted. He stared at the ceiling. “I have like two friends. And they’re both mad now.”

“It sounded a bit rough over there.”

Xuxi closed his eyes with his head hung back, willing his frustration back into his tear ducts. “Sorry, I should have had them meet me somewhere else.”

“It’s not the first time someone’s had a dramatic political argument in here,” Dejun chuckled. “I’m used to it.” Xuxi looked down as he heard a paper cup slide across the counter towards him. Dejun had filled it with mainly whipped cream, heavily drizzled in chocolate syrup. Xuxi smiled for what felt like the first time that morning. “Besides, I’d say you have more than two friends. At least three, by my count.” He gave Xuxi a cheeky smile, and one more pat to his arm before turning back to the register.

Xuxi let out a shuddery breath, and stuck what he could fit of his face in the tiny cup. Dejun giggled as he emerged, licking his lips. As cheesy as it sounded, the sugar was already healing his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been drinking a LOT of coffee this month, can you tell?


	10. The Deal

To say Xuxi’s grades were suffering was a kindness. Yuqi was barely talking to him, and had revoked her daily homework help. Guanheng had been helping him with his Intro to Diplomacy assignments, but asking him for help now was absolutely out of the question. Xuxi hated the idea of it, but it was unlikely that they would talk about anything ever again. 

Without his two much smarter rocks, his test scores plummeted. And without much in the grade bank this early in the term, Xuxi was looking at dismal numbers. His sweaty palms dampened his progress report envelope as he brought in the mail halfway through the term. There was no use in hiding it. His father already knew, without the unnecessary ceremony of him ripping the envelope open in front of Xuxi at his desk. He still did it. His letter opener was a small sharpened dagger with a phoenix head carved into the hilt. Xuxi resisted the urge to gut himself with it.

Chief Huang said nothing as he read down the report, face as still as stone. He had in fact seen it all before. He half-smiled at the perfect score in Combat 1 before his face fell again. He placed the thick paper stock onto the table and folded his hands together over it. Xuxi shrunk himself into the chair across from him. He picked at his cuticles.

“Disappointing,” his father said simply. The word felt sharper than a dagger could be as it hit Xuxi’s core. He could feel his confidence spilling out onto the floor in hot floods. 

“I’m sorry, father.”

“Nothing else? You have nothing else to say for yourself? No excuses?”

“No, sir,” Xuxi whispered.

“What was that?”

“No, sir!” Xuxi repeated. “I have no excuse for my actions. I have brought shame to the family.”

“Incorrect,” the Chief growled. “You have disrespected this family. All that I give you, and this is what you bring me in return?” Xuxi stayed silent, trying desperately to fold his body in himself. “You can’t rely on Yuqi to give you her homework like you did in high school, don’t think I didn’t know about that. This is the exact time to prove yourself worthy of the Huang name, and you have failed. What did i tell you on the first day of school?”

“Don’t embarrass you.”

“And what have you done?”

Xuxi blinked through a creeping blur. “Embarrassed you, father.”

Chief Huang sighed, and sat back in his chair. He rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re incredibly lucky that this is a progress report, and not final grades.  _ Unbelievably  _ lucky.” they sat in silence for a while, the Chief letting Xuxi steep in his own guilt. “You’re getting a tutor,” he finally said. Xuxi looked up at his father’s unreadable face. “You will have tutoring sessions every day after school, three hours each.  _ And  _ weekends.”

“But Dad, I don’t have time, with work--”

“You have  _ plenty _ of time. In fact, you will be doing extra assignments with your tutor because apparently your classwork isn’t enough to get this shit in your head. Anything else? Any other excuses? I can make it four hours.”

“No, sir. Thank you, sir.”

“Good answer. Straight to your room, I don’t want to hear a breath of sound in this house.”

“Yes, sir.” Xuxi scrambled out of the room and into his room. He flopped down on his bed and groaned. Softly, of course. Sleep would forever be a distant stranger.

Later that night, Xuxi heard the main gate rattle open. It pulled him out of a homework induced stupor, and he racked his brain for visitors he had forgotten about. He couldn’t fathom any, so he stood to go peek over the balcony. He stopped himself with his hand on his bedroom door, his father’s words echoing in his head. 

Instead, he pressed his ear to the door. He didn’t hear his father’s usual booming welcomes as guests entered the house. In fact, he heard absolutely nothing besides the front door clicking closed and footsteps disappearing down the hall. His curiosity hit max capacity, but he didn’t dare open the door. Instead he stewed in his room, all manner of wild scenarios playing over in his head.

Ten entered the Huang household with his head held high. The stark white walls were unforgivingly bright as they reflected the light from a crystal chandelier above them. The whole estate seemed empty and cold. The only life in sight was a sparse garden of bodyguards, stationed along the walls like houseplants. 

He followed chief huang into a small study at the back of the house, warmer in color and in color only. He gestured for ten to sit in the red leather seat across from him.

“I’d rather not,” Ten sighed.

“Sit  _ down _ , Lee Yong Qin. Before I make you sit.”

Ten left his chin turned up with pride, but slowly lowered himself into the seat. It felt slightly warm, which he hated. He never broke eye contact with the man across from him.

“I believe you know why you’re here,” Chief Huang said simply. Ten didn’t think it deserved a response, so he let the room fill with silence. The Chief smiled, and reached into a drawer of his desk. Ten’s instincts flared into high alert, and he clenched the armrests of his chair. But the Chief pulled out a remote, and turned to the window overlooking a small, sad rose garden. Instantly, the window went opaque and turned into a large screen inset with several smaller feeds. One was paused, the date reading nearly six weeks old. Ten’s stomach jumped into his throat, and he carefully swallowed it down. Chief Huang pulled the video into full screen, and let it play. 

Ten didn’t need to watch. He knew every second like it was yesterday, down to the acrid smell of spray paint in the cold October air. Despite himself, he cringed at how small he looked next to the Huang son. He hadn’t seen this look of fear on that boy in weeks. He was almost used to a different boy now, one full of mischief and greasy smiles. 

He pretended to continue watching as he devised an exit strategy. Huang hadn’t pulled a gun on him yet, but it seemed like it was finally time. It had been nice while it lasted, being at the Academy. He’d made a respectable name for himself amongst the professors, and the first years treated him kindly. At least, until they went home for summer holiday and their parents told them what they should really think of their new friend, “Ten-ge.” He could at least call them friends for a little while.

As he watched himself walk out of the video frame, he watched all the progress he had made over the past three years walk off of a cliff. His life was once again on the line. It was time, again, to run. 

The video ended, and the screen disappeared into the transparency of a normal window. Huang turned back to Ten, and Ten counted the number of weapons on the desk. A few pens, a paperweight, a gaudy letter opener. The handle was away from him, but he was faster than the old man. He was caught off guard, however, by Chief Huang’s wide smile.

“It seems I have you in the palm of my hand, Lee Yong Qin,” he mused.

“It seems so,” Ten replied. “It certainly seems.”

“My son  _ seems _ to think he could hide this from me. That he didn’t see the face of the man who vandalized my car. That he didn’t talk to you.”

Huang Xuxi had been telling the truth. Ten wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information yet, so he stashed it away. 

“Obviously, this was a lie,” Chief Huang continued. His lazy drawl was getting on Ten’s nerves. He wanted to get onto the life threatening and country fleeing already. Huang reached towards the landline on his desk, and Ten tried not to flinch. “Xuxi,” he said, holding down an intercom button. “Please bring tea to the study for our guest.”

Ten scoffed. “Guest? How kind.” he swallowed down his panic for now. “Do you always make your son do maid’s work?”

“Only when he’s being punished.”

Ten managed to laugh. It was ripped from him again as Huang Xuxi creeped into the room, tea tray in hand. He saw the boy’s face light up in a dizzying mix of excitement and horror, looking between Ten and his father in a frenzy before finally settling his eyes on the tray. He carried it in without much grace, the porcelain clunking loudly in the silent room. Xuxi glanced up at Ten with eyes full of confusion, but Ten looked away towards the window. 

“Thank you, son. Stand there.” 

Xuxi complied, standing beside the door like a little toy soldier. Chief Huang took a sip of his tea and turned back to Ten. “Lee Yong Qin, this is my son, Xuxi. I don’t believe you two have met.” 

Ten paused with his hands around the teacup in front of him. A nasty twinkle sparked in the Chief’s eyes. What was he playing at? “No, we have not,” Ten replied. The Chief looked pleased, like someone had joined in on his little game.

“Nice to meet you,” Xuxi said, giving Ten a small bow. It was entirely unconvincing, and Ten knew Chief Huang would have destroyed him on the spot if he didn’t have some other plan up his sleeve.

“Wonderful! Now you two have finally met. For the first time. You see, Lee Yong Qin, my son Xuxi has been having some trouble in his classes. You can imagine how embarrassing that is, as the headmaster’s son.” 

Ten wanted to laugh, but he also wanted to run away from this room at full speed. “Embarrassing, indeed,” he replied. He glanced over at Xuxi. The boy didn’t move a muscle, but Ten saw a bead of sweat roll down the side of his head.

“Xuxi, why don’t you tell Lee Yong Qin your scores.”

Xuxi looked down, but didn’t respond.

“I won’t ask again,” the Chief said.

Xuxi immediately began listing classes and numbers, each one lower than the last. Ten had to commend Chief Huang on this unique brand of torture. He still wasn’t sure what the relevance was, though.

“Thank you, Xuxi. Why don’t you get us some more tea.” 

Xuxi didn’t hesitate to escape the room at full speed, disappearing within two long steps.

“You see, my son has more pressing inadequacies than lying,” Chief Huang said as soon as Xuxi was out of earshot.

Ten took a small sip of tea. It was surprisingly perfect, which felt unsettling. “That has nothing to do with me.”

Chief Huang laughed like a man with a feast laid out in front of him. “Oh, but it has everything to do with you. See both of you have done something to offend me. Unfortunately, that leaves you both in the palm of my hand. I am not a cruel man, but I can admit that it’s not a wonderful place to be.”

“Then what?” Ten said, feeling more bold with every passing second that the man didn’t reach across his desk and snap Ten’s neck. “What do you want? Make your deal, already. Enough with all of this. You don’t scare me.”

“You will tutor my son,” Chief Huang said simply, not even looking up from his tea.

“Or what?”

“You will die.”

Ten’s hand shook on the teacup, but he only scoffed. “And then you will be dead by the end of the day. My mother will make sure of it. Doesn’t seem like much time to celebrate, does it?”

Chief Huang smiled. “It would be long enough,” he said.

Ten didn’t have many cards left in his hand. Dying, unfortunately, was not an option. Dying was quitting, and his mom did not raise a quitter. He weighed his options. Tutor the son of a man who degraded, disrespected, and destroyed his family at every turn? Or disappoint his mother? Wouldn’t taking the gig be disappointing his mother more? Chief Huang stared him down, small simple smile never leaving his face. “So what will it be?” He asked.

Ten caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Xuxi popped back into the hallway behind his father, fresh tea tray in hand. He was still obviously out of earshot, and still looked at Ten with the biggest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen. How had a man so entirely evil birthed a son so entirely...simple? Chief Huang looked down to have another sip of tea.

Ten took another deep breath, and gave the tiniest shake of his head. He gasped as Xuxi’s face crumpled. He looked between Ten and the back of his father’s head with what could only be described as fear. This was new. His son, his precious heir, his most prized possession; was even Xuxi afraid of Chief Huang? Xuxi’s hands wavered on the tea tray, and the porcelain rang out with two tiny clinks. Chief Huang heard it, and put his teacup down. Xuxi’s eyes were misty as they met Ten’s one last time, and it was far too much.

“Fine!” He said, drawing Chief Huang’s attention back to him. “I’ll do it. I’ll tutor your son.”

The Chief clapped his hands together. “Wonderful! I knew you would choose correctly. My son!” He called out to Xuxi, and Xuxi delayed his entrance. 

“Yes father? More tea?” He asked. His father waved a hand away.

“Forget the tea. Bring me my whiskey! We must toast to your new tutor!” His mouth smiled, but his eyes did not.

On the other hand, Xuxi looked absolutely relieved and delighted. Ten’s jaw clenched. What right did he have? All fancy Xuxi had to worry about was his fancy little grades. Ten was risking his life in every outcome of the situation. If he didn’t tutor Xuxi, Chief Huang would kill him. If his mother ever found out that he was tutoring Xuxi, she would kill Chief Huang first, and then him.

“Thank you, Te— Lee Yong Qin,” Xuxi quickly corrected himself under his father’s watchful eye. “Thank you so much! You’re saving my life here.”

Ten almost slapped him. Instead, he grimaced and mumbled, “Sure.”

Xuxi skipped out of the room, headed to find his father’s favorite whiskey. The room went silent again as Ten fumed. 

“Oh, and one more thing,” Chief Huang grinned. It was like looking into hell itself, and making eye contact with the thing that stares back. “If he does not get in the top three of his grade by the end of the semester, I will still kill you.”

Ten’s fingertips went cold, and his ears rang. He barely registered Xuxi returning with a decanter and three crystal glasses. The alcohol barely burned the back of his throat, already numb with cold dread. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every comment takes a shot of whiskey with Ten


	11. The 8 Ball

The closest bar to campus was a classy old whiskey bar called the 8 Ball. It was a mess of cliches mashed together, and the stink of them hit Xuxi as soon as he walked in. A light haze of cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air. The old jukebox playing ancient ballads and billiard balls cracking against each other created a low din. It muted any conversations happening in the red leather booths, though that might also have been because most occupants turned towards Xuxi as he entered. He recognized a few classmates and upperclassmen, but thankfully most closed their agape mouths and returned to their own conversations. Xuxi wasn’t usually one to drink alone, but tonight was special. Not in a good way, but special nonetheless.

He saddled up to the mahogany bar. The stool squeaked under his weight. The bartender turned towards him as he was drying a highball glass, a walking stereotype in a clean black shirt and pressed slacks. His face was kind and soft, a welcome sight after Xuxi’s day.

“What can I do you for?” He asked. He had a kind voice, too. Xuxi’s shoulders dropped a few centimeters.

“What’s good?” Xuxi asked. Not only did he rarely drink alone, he rarely drank anything but wine with dinner. The last time he drank was nearly a week ago, with ten in his father’s office. It was such an out of body experience, he had trouble believing it actually happened. It was only the two hour study session penciled into Monday in his planner that anchored it into reality. 

“Can I suggest some ice first?” The bartender joked, motioning around his jaw. With Xuxi’s general lack of rest and nutrition, the bruise on his face from Yangyang’s sharp, tiny knuckles was slow to heal. It was a yellowish spot by now. Xuxi touched it gingerly, smiling.

“It’s old,” he explained. “I’m not drinking for that.”

“Then what are you drinking for?” He asked. “Maybe that will help me make a suggestion.”

Xuxi sighed dramatically. “For close calls and lost friends,” he said. 

“Oh shit. They died?”

Xuxi laughed. “No, I just did something shitty. I doubt they want to be my friend anymore.”

The bartender nodded, pursing his lips in thought. He had small, sweet dimples that Xuxi healed himself in. “Not gin, then,” he finally said. “Let’s just do an Old Fashioned.”

Xuxi shrugged. “My liver is in your hands.”

The bartender chuckled, disappearing for a few seconds under the bar as he gathered supplies. He mixed the drink with a casual, practiced hand. Nothing fancy, no extra flairs, but with enough control to prove he had been a pro for a while. 

Xuxi’s eyes started to unfocus as he watched his hands. He lost himself in thought, letting the last month and a half wash over him. He could barely remember his first day of classes, a day that had seemed absolutely endless before. Yuqi was talking to him again, normally and finally. She didn’t seem to be as angry as she was embarrassed at how far off she had been about Guanheng. Guanheng himself, Xuxi hadn’t talked to since that day. Without all the effort Guanheng had made to spend time together, they didn’t actually run into him that often. Only in combat class, in which Xuxi and Yuqi refused to partner with anyone but each other. It was just safer that way.

The bartender cleared his throat slightly, and Xuxi’s eyes went wide for just a moment as he refocused back into reality. “Sorry,” he mumbled, and reached for his now finished Old Fashioned. It was simple, garnished with only a small orange peel, but incredibly elegant. The bartender pulled it back away from him. 

“Do me a favor,” he explained. “Take a sip or two of this, so you know I made a good drink worth your money, because I did. And then,” he dipped below the bar again and emerged with a cheap looking tequila bottle, “We’ll get you what you really need.”

Xuxi nearly spat out his sip of the yes, very delicious and well made drink. “I really don’t think I need that.”

“Come on, one shot,” the bartender purred. 

“Are bartenders supposed to encourage reckless drinking?”

“I’ll take it with you!” 

“You’re going to get fired!” Xuxi sputtered.

The bartender laughed, shaking his head. He’d already started pouring two matching shots into salted glasses. “I can’t get fired, honey. I’m the owner.” He jerked a thumb behind him, and Xuxi spotted a pristine framed liquor license.

“Qian Kun,” he carefully read, under “The 8 Ball Bar & Lounge.”

The bartender grinned, his dimples showing deep. “In the flesh! Just call me Kun, though. You ready?” 

Kun held out a filled to the brim shot glass to Xuxi. It sloshed as soon as Xuxi touched it, and he carefully set it down before grabbing the lime wedge Kun was also handing to him. Kun kitten licked spilled liquor off his hand before drying it with a plush red towel.

Xuxi stared down at the various ingredients on the bar in front of them. He knew there was a specific order and technique to taking a tequila shot, but could not recite it with a gun to his head. He had gone to a grand total of one house party in high school, resulting in a loud altercation on the front lawn between Yuqi and another girl. Xuxi never found out why they were fighting, and Yuqi refused to tell him. They’d only had one vodka shot each.

Kun finally took pity on him, spotting Xuxi’s large hands hovering over the bar like he was about to try and hold a baby. “To your shitty mistake,” he said, lifting the glass as he made eye contact with Xuxi. In one fluid movement, he tapped it back onto the counter before sliding his tongue along the salted rim and knocking it back. He swallowed, shoving the lime into his mouth as soon as he could. 

Xuxi stumbled to catch up, lifting his glass with a small grunt before sloshing it back onto the bar and catching the rest in his mouth. Kun smiled at him with lime wedge teeth, and the shot almost came back up Xux’s nose before he swallowed and bit into his own lime. His throat burned. The lime only quenched the fire on his tongue, going dry quickly. Kun ditched their glasses. He chuckled as he wiped away the puddle on the bar. 

Xuxi went back to small manageable sips on his Old Fashioned. His head already felt a bit lighter, his lungs a bit bolder. “You know what I’m drinking for,” he said. “What are you drinking for then?”

“Celebration, actually,” Kun replied. “I’ve finally got a new part timer coming in to wash glasses and what not. Very overdue, honestly.”

Xuxi nodded. “I should have worked here,” he pouted.

“Were you looking for a job?”

“A temporary one. I got a job at the cafe on campus instead, and I’m up at 4:00AM every day. Its exhausting.”

“You might have still been up at 4:00AM here, just on the other side of the day. Do you like your coworkers at least?” Xuxi couldn’t stop a smile creeping onto his face. “So you do like them,” Kun cooed. “That’s important! Probably the most important. Personally, I’m hoping this new part timer works out. We’re actually the same age, so maybe I’ll make a friend. For once.”

Xuxi squinted up at Kun. His head was starting to feel a bit light. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three. You?”

Xuxi’s brain was slowing with alcoholic resistance, but he knew he wasn’t that drunk. Twenty-three was impossibly young. “And you own a bar? You  _ own _ the bar?” he asked.

“I dropped out of college. Not up here, of course. For business. After my second year I just felt like I’d learned everything I needed to know, and went for it. I knew what I wanted, and the owners of this place were looking to sell at a cheap price to retire, so… Things just happened. Don’t get me wrong though, I was young and stupid and did  _ not _ learn everything I needed to know. The first six months were absolute hell. And I obviously haven’t had the chance to change anything about this place since the sale. Do you think I enjoy greasy, dusty jukeboxes? No! But it’s what we have until non-jukebox money comes in.”

“I’m sorry, that sounds rough,” Xuxi murmured.

Kun quickly shook his head. “Don’t feel sorry,” he said with a smile. “I’m finally doing what I really wanted. Truly. And whether I have money from it yet or not, I don’t want anyone to pity me for it. This is what I wanted. This bar. Something I  _ owned. _ Not money.”

Xuxi was sure the alcohol had hit him at this point because he felt a heavy knot forming in his throat. He had cried far too much in the past seven weeks, more than he had in years probably, and didn’t think he even had anything left in him. Not that he was against crying, necessarily. But nearly everyday was pushing it.

A couple entered the bar in a cloud of giggles and whispers, and Kun tapped the bar twice in front of Xuxi before leaving to serve them. He rarely came back to Xuxi before he had finished his drink, speeding across the bar with a slightly desperate hustle. He really did need that part timer.

Despite the growing number of patrons, Kun was back behind the bar as soon as Xuxi was dry. He started on a second one, adding slightly different ingredients than the first. He barely looked at Xuxi, instead asking, “Can I ask a weird question about the Academy, if you don’t mind? You seem like a guy that’s not going to make fun of me for not knowing.” He slid the new drink across the bar, hesitating only slightly as he saw Xuxi’s eyes blink at two different times. He added a water glass next to it.

“Shoot,” Xuxi said. “I’m your guy.”

“Why do you start at twenty instead of nineteen?”

“Built in gap year,” Xuxi answered easily. “Most of the prospective students would take a gap year anyways to travel and complete charity work, or debut to the world with their parents, whatever. The Academy just accounts for that.”

“What if someone doesn’t want to take a gap year? Doesn’t have the money, or something?”

Xuxi shook his head. It made his nose feel tingly. “Nope. It’s pretty much required. You need at least 1,000 hours of volunteering, community leadership, or corporate internship to qualify for acceptance. That’s crazy impossible to do while in school.”

“What if someone could do it? Would they be allowed in?”

Xuxi gasped loudly, his head tipping to the side. He shook a finger at Kun. “Yangyang!” he exclaimed. 

“Sheep sheep?” 

“That crazy bastard, that’s how he got in. Really, really crazy. Crazy boy!”

“Who’s a crazy boy?”

Xuxi slurped at the bottom of his drink before answering, showing his teeth in a goofy grin. “Ten-ge is a crazy boy!”

Kun’s brow furrowed deeply. “Ten-ge?” he repeated. Another bar stool poofed loudly down aways, so Kun shuffled off to serve them. He made sure to fill Xuxi’s water glass before he went, pushing it a little closer to Xuxi’s nose.

Xuxi pouted at his loss of companionship. He wasn’t drunk, necessarily. Probably. He wasn’t much of a lightweight, but the tequila was hitting a different way in his stomach that felt giddy and chaotic. His lips were numb and his eyes were tired, so he drank a huge gulp of water before resting the side of his face on the bar. He knew he probably looked like a pitiful passed out drunk, but the cool bartop was more refreshing than his shame. 

His hands ran colder than the marble as his eyes focused for a second on the other figure at the bar. He cursed and flipped his face the other way, regretting how quickly the room spun as he did. Of all people, in all places. He couldn’t spend one fragile moment alone without the appearance of one Huang Guanheng.

He heard Kun approach, and gave him a small thumbs up before he could ask what was wrong. He put a finger to his lips before pulling his hoodie up around his ears. 

Kun glanced down the bar, then back at the quickly turtling Xuxi. “He’s the friend you did something shitty to, isn’t it?” 

Xuxi’s ears burned. He nodded. “Can I please have another drink?” he asked, barely above a whisper. The shame and regret were bubbling up stronger than his buzz.

“Are you sure? Finish your water first.”

Xuxi did, a little awkwardly with his head still turned. 

“Are you absolutely sure?” Kun asked again, but already pouring another tequila shot. “You’ll be okay?” he handed the shot over. 

“I will,” Xuxi whispered. “Because I’m a big boy!” He added, knocking the shot back easier than the first.

Although he was a big boy, Xuxi was not okay. He had managed to get himself upright, hood pulled tight around his ears. He hadn’t managed to get the room to stop spinning. The mirrored bar back kept morphing his face in and out of recognition, and he closed his eyes to avoid a panicked identity crisis. When he opened them again, he made eye contact with a face that was clearly not his.

“Xuxi?” 

Xuxi shook his head. He had enough alcohol in his system to exist in the same room as Guanheng, but not to speak real words to him. He reached into his wallet and tossed a large, crisp bill onto the bar. As he slid off the stool, he caught his shoe in the foot rest. He stumbled slightly, gracefully catching himself for once. The stool though, had other plans and clattered against the concrete floor as it rocked back. Kun headed for him, but Guanheng hesitated and stayed on his stool. “You alright?” Kun said lowly. Xuxi nodded. Kun glanced down at the note on the bar, and his eyes went wide. “Honey, that is way too much. Let me get you some change, okay?”

“Tip,” Xuxi slurred.

Kun shook his head. “I’ll take my own tip out. Just wait there.” He hurried off to the register, and Xuxi was left standing dumbly at the bar. He could feel Guanheng’s eyes on him, burning into the side of his hoodie. It was deathly awkward, and Xuxi couldn’t stand it anymore. He felt the blood rush into his ears and out of his hands. His heart rate quickened even more than it already was with the alcohol thinning its work. He cursed. Not here, not now. How, even? He shifted his weight from side to side, keeping his breathing as steady as possible. 

The squeak of Guanheng’s stool as he turned sounded as loud as a gunshot, and Xuxi heard the gun inside him go off. His heart rate shot, and his only thought was  _ flight. _ He turned away just as Kun was returning with his money, and got two steps away before nausea hit him like a brick wall. He stumbled over thin air this time, but stopped before hitting the floor. He turned to see Guanheng’s hand gripped tight around his upper arm. He’d caught Xuxi without even leaving his stool.

Xuxi shook his head again. He knew what he should say. I’m sorry, I lied, I was wrong. Words that seemed so deceptively simple, but caught in his throat against a lump of embarrassment. The thought that his own shame was somehow more important than someone else’s feelings, than someone who thought they were friends… It only made him more nauseous. 

Guanheng said nothing. As he supported Xuxi with one hand, he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, and handed another crisp bill to Kun. Kun already had his hands full, so he merely sighed and returned Xuxi’s change to the register.

“It’s on him,” Kun said. “There’s barely any alcohol in that thing you ordered anyways. Just make sure that big baby gets home safe.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “He feels bad about it. Whatever he did. Go easy on him.”

Guanheng smiled. “I was never planning to make it hard on him.” He slid off the stool, and slung Xuxi’s heavy arm over his shoulders. “Let’s get you home, stupid,” he mumbled. 

Xuxi only saw lights as they walked home. The streets were quiet, so unbearably so that Xuxi found himself humming and huffing not out of drunk effort, but out of sheer cringe. Guanheng seemed unphased, taking Xuxi’s weight in a not unfamiliar way. They walked a while before Guanheng started to slow, almost coming to a stop. He sighed before stopping completely. Xuxi grunted one more time, sure of what was about to happen. Hgh would yell at him probably, maybe he’d get punched again. Then he would leave Xuxi to die on this strange street, who knows how far from the bar. It seemed so certain in Xuxi’s half conscious drunk brain that he actually braced himself to be hit.

“I don’t know where you live,” Guanheng said instead. It took a while for Xuxi to process the change of plans. He glanced at Guanheng. The shorter man stayed stoic, not even phased by Xuxi’s drunken lean back. “I can just call you a cab,” he continued. “If you don’t want to tell me where you live. I get it.”

“No!” Xuxi whined.

“Okay, cab it is then. Any preference?”

“No!” Xuxi whined again, louder and longer. He wracked his brain for words, and the only ones he had were Canto. “I don’t want to go home,” he whispered. 

Guanheng sighed again. he shifted Xuxi’s weight to a more comfortable position, but didn’t loosen his solid grip on Xuxi. Xuxi whispered something again, but Guanheng could barely hear it. He pulled on his wrist to pull the giant closer to his face. 

“I’m sorry.” Xuxi whispered it on every exhale, his voice catching with a slight tremble. 

Guanheng rubbed his hand against Xuxi’s back. “Bro,” he said, very seriously. He ducked his head down to make eye contact. Xuxi managed to get at least one eye to focus on him. “It’s not that deep.” Xuxi looked at him almost alarmed, and Guanheng snorted. He started walking again with more purpose, dragging Xuxi along with him. “I got kind of upset, obviously. But I get it. You guys have a lot to deal with. It’s better to be careful.”

Xuxi sniffed a little. “You aren’t annoying.”

Guanheng laughed again. “You don’t have to lie about that, I know that I am.”

Xuxi stopped. Even with whiskey and tequila coursing through his veins, he was strong enough to stop Guanheng in his tracks and whip him around.

“No!” he yelled, a bit loud. Guanheng’s puppy eyes went wide, and Xuxi took a deep breath before continuing quietly and as cohesively as he could manage.

“No, you’re not annoying. Don’t say that, don’t ever say that. You’re super nice and you care. All you’ve done is take care of me and I’ve been such an asshole back. Look, you’re taking care of my asshole right now.”

“I’m not taking care of your asshole, Xuxi.”

“You know what I mean.” Xuxi smiled despite himself, and tried not be absolutely delighted at the fact that Guanheng smiled back. He had an apology to finish, here. “Seriously, I’m sorry. Not just for Yuqi, although she was the one who gaslit me and that’s the truth. But I still should have trusted you. You never did anything to prove that I shouldn’t.” Xuxi was surprised at how coherent he thought he sounded. He was about to pat himself on the back for it, but Guanheng still looked troubled.

“Then why did you even question me to begin with? Why start with that whole weird investigation into my life? I’m used to getting my privacy probed at, but that… I just don’t understand why it was necessary.”

“It was my fault. Whenever someone mentions my dad, it’s usually something bad. That they want something, or they’re planning something. I don’t know. And you said something at the gym, and I was already having a shit day which wasn’t your fault, I know, but I just…” Xuxi trailed off, shuffling his sneakers against the cement.

“I know you have a hard time because of your dad. I certainly see that now. But that doesn’t give you the right to push people away.” Guanheng was stern but gentle, his hand still keeping a steady rhythm of pats and rubs up Xuxi’s back.

Xuxi nodded, ashamed. He hung his head. “I know.”

“Then dont forget it.” Guanheng wagged a finger at Xuxi before grabbing his wrist to sling an arm over his shoulders again. He walked him forward with more purpose this time, and Xuxi let him take the lead.

“Where are we going?” Xuxi asked.

“My dorm. Obviously you don’t want to go home like this, and I certainly don’t want you to be alone like this. My roommate is out every weekend to visit his girlfriend, so his bed is empty. If you want it, of course.”

“Thank you,” Xuxi whispered.

“Of course.”

“No seriously. For everything, for listening. Thank you.”

Guanheng gave him a goofy grin. “That’s what friends are for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whomp there he is! this time, comments take tequila shots with kun. gettin yall real drunk in these chapters


	12. The First Study Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the love so far on this fic! your christmas present is TWO chapters at once :3 hope you like!

“Ten-Laoshi!” Xuxi drew out every syllable in a dramatic whine. He fell forward over the floor table, his large body blanketing the entire surface. Ten sighed, already at whits end an hour into their third study session. The first session had passed in unbearable silence, the loudest noise in the room being Ten’s red pencil as he corrected Xuxi’s homework with heavy, violent strokes. In the second session, Xuxi tried his best to show he was willing to learn. He really was, if anything to save his ass from failing his first term at the academy. Eventually Ten gave in, too much of a perfectionist (and too attached to his own wellbeing) to let Xuxi fall apart in front of him.

Here and now in the third session, Xuxi had apparently gained the confidence to fight back, his questions full of woe and frustration as he rolled around at Ten’s feet.

“Laoshi?” Ten asked, slightly bemused.

“I don’t get it,” Xuxi sobbed. “I don’t get any of it.”

“Its Introduction to Law. your father is literally the chief of police.”

“Ten-laoshi, just give me the answer. Please? Pretty please?”

“No, young master, I will not.” Ten’s nickname came with less venom than it used to. Xuxi still didn’t like it, and he sat back up in a huff. “Check chapter three,” Ten finally gave in slightly. “That’s all the hint I’ll give you.”

Xuxi grinned wide. “Thank you, laoshi!” Ten didn’t smile back.

He did finally smile when his phone lit up with a text, and he replied with an enthusiasm that Xuxi wasn’t used to seeing. Xuxi tried not to let his curiosity get the better of him, but that was a losing battle on the best of days.

“Who was that?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“None of your business,” Ten spat. They worked in silence for a while until Ten’s phone buzzed again, almost three times in a row. He scrambled to respond and silenced it before setting it down again.

“It’s rude to have your phone on while studying,” Xuxi teased.

“This isn’t a library, get off my ass.”

“I’ll get off if you tell me who it is.”

Ten’s phone screen lit up again, and Xuxi made you’re-in-trouble noises until Ten finished replying and threw up his hands. “It’s a group chat,” he admitted. “We’re planning out Friday night.”

“What’s on Friday night?”

“The club,” Ten replied. He said it like it was the obvious answer. As Sunday was to church, Friday was to club. Xuxi nodded knowingly, trying to play it cool. 

“Which club?” Xuxi asked.

Ten shrugged, engrossed in his phone once more. “Beta, maybe. Charlie’s. We haven’t decided yet.”

“We?” Xuxi’s homework sat cold and untouched.

“Yes, we. Is it so unbelievable that I would have friends?” Ten thought for a moment, then asked, “What do you think?” with a wry smile.

“About what?”

“Which club should we go to, Beta or Charlie’s?”

Xuxi tapped his pencil against the table. He pretended to consider two very real options, knowing full well he had never visited either of those establishments. As a matter of fact, he had never gone to a club in his life. He had been offered to go plenty of times, by all manner of Academy classmates. He wasn’t forbidden from going, not technically. But every outcome of what he’d read in light novels and seen in dramas seemed like a bad one. It never seemed like he was missing much.

“Charlie’s,” Xuxi said finally, as if coming to a decision. “They have better booze.”

Ten just looked at him before bursting into laughter. Xuxi didn’t even care that he was somehow the butt of Ten’s joke. All his focus was tuned into this moment, soaking in every sound he could. The laugh came up from the bottom of Ten’s lungs in full, round giggles. His small shoulders shook as his face lit up. His smile could have sold anything. “That’s not a club, dumbass!” Ten finally said, trying to compose himself. “I made it up.”

Xuxi’s ears grew hot. “Fine, I didn’t know.”

“Do you know  _ any _ club?” Ten joked. Xuxi waited half a second too long to answer, and Ten pounced. “Wait, have you never been to a club before?”

Xuxi suddenly became very interested in his homework. Ten reeled back, like Xuxi had just said he’d never eaten pizza.

“Oh my god, you’ve never gone clubbing. Big Daddy’s prince of the castle, has never even partied.”

“I’ve partied!” Ten’s eyebrow shot up. “Once. I’ve been to one party. Look, it doesn’t matter. It’s just not my thing.”

“Wow,” Ten whistled. “No wonder you’re such a scaredy cat all the time. you’ve never let loose in your life.”

Xuxi tried not to let “scaredy cat” hit too hard. “Whatever. Just drop it, okay? Sorry I even asked. Go to whatever club is real, then.” he scribbled his next answer onto his homework with blatant disregard for penmanship.

Ten went quiet for a moment, and Xuxi was convinced he had returned to his group chat. But when Xuxi glanced over, Ten was staring him down. It felt sharp, easily filleting his expression away to gaze into the very heart of him. Ten had pretty eyes, for a boy. Soft, when he wasn’t using them to throw daggers into Xuxi.

“Come with me.” Xuxi’s pencil stuttered across the paper. Ten refused to break eye contact, lids crinkling into mischievous crow’s feet. 

“What?” Xuxi asked dumbly.

“Come with me. To Beta.”

Xuxi chuckled, dipping his head back to his homework. He reread the problem once, twice, and none of the words stuck. “I get it,” he mumbled. “Very funny.”

Ten scoffed. “It wasn’t a joke. I’m asking— I’m inviting you out, dumbo. Obviously your father has you cooped up in the highest tower here. Actually live, for once. You said you wanted to know who I was, then… Come find out. Come out on Friday.”

Xuxi stared at him in awe, but Ten didn’t point and jeer or take any of it back. 

“Yes!” Xuxi said. “Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

Ten raised an eyebrow. “But will Big Daddy let you?”

Xuxi fumed a bit. “He doesn’t have to know.”

Ten let out a low whistle, something new in his eyes as he looked at Xuxi. “Good. Meet me at the dorms at 9:30.”

Xuxi nodded, barely containing the true giddy excitement bubbling up from the pit of his stomach. He was going out. Going clubbing. With Lee Yong Qin, of all people. A man he was certain was going to kill him one night, became his tutor in another, and now… Xuxi tried not to get his hopes up too much. He had just gotten one of his friends back, and he didn’t want to be so greedy as to wish for another. Yuqi, too— Xuxi bit down on his lip. Yuqi. A slow pouring guilt melted the excitement away as quickly as it formed. 

Somehow, in two months of name calling and awkward combat class partnerships, he hadn’t told her anything about Ten. Whenever Xuxi called out to him, Yuqi wasn’t there. There was an easy explanation; Xuxi was bored whenever Yuqi wasn’t around. When she was there, she occupied so much of his mind that he rarely saw Ten even out of the corner of his eye. 

But by now, Yuqi knew about his tutoring sessions. She asked him about his tutor. And he had lied to her. It wasn’t the first time he had, not even the first time he had lied about Ten. But he never did it so frequently. Not unless he was counting the Big Lie, which he never did. 

Xuxi still wasn’t sure why he lied about Ten the first time. But then, after the incident with Guanheng, he didn’t want her diving deep into Ten’s privacy. Whatever might be roaming in there. He hadn’t even investigated himself, despite his rampant curiosity. He wanted to prove Ten wrong. He wanted Ten to reveal himself in his own time, without the opinions of other people. And now, Xuxi finally felt like he had his first chance.

“You still in there?” Ten called. He slapped Xuxi’s arm with the back of his hand.

Xuxi jolted out of thought. “Just thinking about what to wear,” he offered.

Ten glanced over at Xuxi’s open closet and grimaced. “Just wear some jeans. You can borrow some of my stuff.”

“Why? What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“Nothing, for a straight rich boy. Let’s just say Beta is a little more… niche. There’s a dress code.”

Xuxi rolled his eyes, but gave in. He’d wear assless chaps if i meant Ten revealed anything about himself. Ten reached over his arm, grabbing his wrist to pull his hand away from the paper. He marked the problem Xuxi had just finished with a huge, red X and sat back, a smug smile on his face. Xuxi hung his head. His wrist still felt warm where Ten had touched him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> much love guys come bother me to update more often on twitter @stanwithyams i just started it recently


	13. The Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 of 2! happy holidays!

By his second week, Xuxi and Dejun had fallen into a comfortable pattern in their early before school shifts together. Xuxi would arrive at the cafe half an hour before opening, the twilight crisp and quiet. He wasn’t starting to get used to the early hour. Something in the stillness reminded him how large and empty the world could be. It was oddly comforting. 

He’d walk straight from the door to the mixer stock shelves and gently wake Dejun up from his coffee sack nap. He asked why Dejun didn’t just come in later. Dejun sleepily explained how slow the heater warmed up in the morning, and the first few customers would complain of the cold. So he got up fifteen minutes earlier to make sure it was warm by opening. Xuxi clicked his tongue. “I know you’re not the manager, but you really should be,” he half-joked. 

Dejun just smiled and shook his head. “The one we have is really good, honestly. He’s just really busy with his classes. He’s a third year here.”

Xuxi hummed. He was already swamped as a freshman. He couldn’t even imagine what a third year’s load would be, and shuddered with dread at the thought of it. They went through pre-opening prep in a soft quiet that seemed to surround Dejun in a comforting cloud. Xuxi was drawn to it like a giant planet orbiting a tiny star, basking in the younger boy’s gentle light. 

They sank into a flow easily as the morning rush began, Xuxi making drinks as quickly as he could. Dejun called them out calmly, rarely waiting for the student to make their order. Whenever Xuxi didn’t know a drink, they would switch and order taking would slow drastically. Xuxi had no capacity for remembering people’s drinks, and it would take a couple of tries to get them legible on the cups. In these few stressful moments, he thanked his father for his classmates’ patient smiles. 

Eventually they ran out of almond milk again, and Xuxi headed to the back for more. He could still hear Dejun’s voice, soft and clear and good.

“Yangyang! Good morning,” he cooed. The carton in Xuxi’s hand buckled. He shuffled to the side, so he couldn’t be seen through the stockroom doorway. He wasn’t sure why he was hiding from someone a whole year younger than him and half his size. But the cafe was easily his happy place nowadays, and the last thing he wanted was that terrifying fireball jumping him from across the counter. Or worse, Dejun finding out he’d been absolutely laid out by him.

“The usual?” Dejun continued. “Medium in a large caramel frappe soy two pumps vanilla salted caramel swirl with extra whip and sprinkles?”

Xuxi heard Yangyang laugh. “Almost! So close that time.” Xuxi had never heard Dejun mess up an order before, even once. If he had memorized it, he’d memorized it right.

“Oh, damn,” Dejun sighed. “What did I miss this time?”

“Coconut milk, not soy!” Yangyang corrected. 

“Are you sure? I could have sworn it was soy,” Dejun mumbled.

“Nope, definitely coconut. It’s okay, you’ll get it next time. I believe in you.”

There was a small awkward silence before Dejun called, “Xuxi, order up!” and Xuxi groaned. 

“Xuxi?” He heard. “Huang Xuxi? Does he work here?”

Xuxi popped his head out from the back, and waved a carton of coconut milk. “Hello,” he said in a small voice. Rather than the reckless anger he was expecting, Yangyang looked frightened for his life.

A twist, Xuxi thought. He emerged from the back and placed the extra milks under the counter. As he stood to his full height, Yangyang avoided eye contact. 

“Thank you, Xi-houbei!” Dejun said. “Xi, this is Yangyang! He usually comes in late at night, I’m surprised you’re here so early!”

“We’ve met. ‘Xi-Houbei’?” YangYang asked with thinly veiled disgust. Dejun shrugged. “How long have you known each other?”

“Like two months?”

“And you already gave him a nickname? You’ve known me for longer, you never gave me a nickname,” Yangyang grumbled.

“That’s because your name is already fun to say, Yangyang!” Dejun laughed.

Xuxi saw Yangyang’s ears go pink at the sound of Dejun saying his name. Another twist, Xuxi thought. He decided to test it. 

“Guess we just got close fast,” Xuxi said, and wrapped his arm around Dejun’s shoulders. It fully engulfed them. Yangyang’s neck bloomed red, and he ran his tongue over his teeth. A very interesting twist, Xuxi thought. He didn’t want to teaser his juniors too much, so he gave Dejun’s arm a little squeeze before taking Yangyang’s cup to start his order. 

“Are you okay, Yangyang? You look warm.” Dejun reached the back of his hand towards Yangyang’s forehead, but Yangyang pulled away.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, and escaped to a table near the back of the cafe.

Once Xuxi had finished his overly complex order, giving himself a pat on the back for doing so, he brought it over to Yangyang. Yangyang seemed far too engrossed in his phone, and looked up excitedly once he heard the cup hit wood. Once he saw it was Xuxi, though, he took the coffee without a word and looked back down to his phone.

“You’re really obvious,” Xuxi chuckled. “Do you hate me that much?” Yangyang didn’t respond. “Or is it that you like Dejun that much?”

The boy’s eyes flashed up at him, two firecrackers. “I don’t like him, you creep,” he shot, but he held back some of the spite in his voice. 

Xuxi’s eyebrows went to his hairline, but played it cool. “I don’t blame you, you know. How could you not like Dejun?” 

Yangyang kept an eye on him out of the corner of his eye as he took a small sip of his drink. “Why are talking to me? Do  _ you _ like him?”

“Nah man, I’m pretty straight.”

“Me, too.” Yangyang squinted at him. “But why are you talking to me?”

Xuxi shifted his weight, his hands going to the back of his hips. “Really? You don’t think you owe me an apology? After all this time?”

Yangyang’s face fell. He blinked, staring into his coffee cup. “I already apologized. Just leave me alone.”

“Already, my ass. You didn’t say it to me!”

“I said it to your dad,” Yangyang seethed. “You shouldn’t even be talking to me.”

Xuxi’s heart sank. Usually, his dad abandoned campus after the first day of classes and left the academy to its own devices. He was careful not to raise any suspicion that day, saying something cliche like, “Should have seen the other guy.” But his father had seen the other guy. And the other guy didn’t seem okay anymore. 

Xuxi sank into the seat across from Yangyang, much to Yangyang’s obvious disgust. “What did he say to you?” he asked calmly.

“Only lectured me for like, three hours. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t throw me out of the school. So thanks, I guess. Apparently you didn’t whine to daddy enough for that.”

“I didn’t tell him anything, I swear.” Yangyang squinted. “I mean, obviously he saw the bruise.” Xuxi continued. “Which is healing horribly, by the way. Thanks for asking.”

“Good. You deserve it.” Yangyang pursed his lips in thought. “You really didn’t tell him anything?” 

“I swear it.”

“So your dad is just… Like that?”

“I’m really sorry.” Xuxi had gone into this looking for an apology, now here he was giving one. 

“Buy me a drink,” Yangyang finally said, after a heavy silence.

“Are you even old enough?” 

He scoffed. “Yes, obviously. But I meant here. Pay for my drink tomorrow, then maybe we’ll be even.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“Substitutions and syrups aren’t cheap. Shouldn’t you know that?”

Xuxi smiled. “Hey, you punched me in the face. Maybe you knocked out some brain cells.”

“Like you had so many to start with,” Yangyang spat.

“Ouch. When do you usually come in? I’ll have it ready for you so you don’t have to spell it all out again or wait in line.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Yangyang said carefully.

“No problem! I’ll just ask Dejun, he’s definitely got your order down by now. I’ve never seen him mess up even one, so I’m sure he’ll get that coconut milk next time.”

Yangyang hesitated a bit before finally nodding. “Remember I said this  _ might _ make us even.”

“Remember you  _ might  _ have cold clocked me in the face for no reason.” Xuxi stood and shrugged. “So, it better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3


	14. The Club

Xuxi cringed at himself the first time of many on friday morning in combat class. Xuxi tried to split his partner choices evenly between Yuqi and Guanheng now. It was easier once Yuqi had found a new opponent she deemed worthy: Yangyang. Xuxi wasn’t sure if she partnered with him out of revenge or respect. Watching them tousle like two feral cats with hidden smiles and bright eyes made him lean more towards the latter.

Guanheng leaned into Xuxi’s large frame as they sprawled out on the mats at break. Guanheng easily threw back half a water bottle before handing it to Xuxi, who chugged the rest. As Guanheng’s breath slowed, he elbowed Xuxi between the ribs. “Let’s do something tonight,” he suggested.

Xuxi paused with his hand on the bottle cap. “Tonight? Like what?”

“The gym sounds nauseating right now, but maybe a ROM WOD? My friend’s trainer gave him a really good kettlebell based one, if you’re down.”

Xuxi nodded slowly, brain firing as quickly as possible. He glanced around the room. His breath hitched as he made eye contact with Ten. “I would, but I have a tutoring session tonight,” Xuxi finally responded. He smiled, and Ten watched Guanheng reach over and lay a towel across Xuxi’s neck before looking away. 

“What? On a friday? That’s brutal, dude. What about after?”

Xuxi watched Ten stand up and drag his partner to his feet. He started demonstrating a take down, every movement clean and balanced as he slammed the other boy into the mat. They both laughed.

“It’s all night,” Xuxi said. “I’ve got some reports to finish, so we’re pulling an all nighter together.”

Guanheng whistled. “That tutor better be getting paid some sweet overtime. I can barely imagine pulling an all nighter for my own assignments, let alone someone else’s. Like, gun to my head maybe. But that’s a hard maybe.”

“Yeah, I guess he is,” Xuxi murmured. Ten’s partner swept his foot under Ten’s ankles, and Ten crashed to the mat beside him. They laughed again. It sounded so loud.

“Xuxi? You okay?”

“What?” Xuxi tore his eyes away. “I mean yeah, I think my dad’s paying him a lot. It was my dad’s idea anyway. So I’m not free tonight.”

Guanheng frowned. “Not what I asked, but sure. Maybe tomorrow then?”

Xuxi nodded and stood. “I’ll get us more water,” he grunted. 

Xuxi didn’t have a reason to be lying to Guanheng. Not really. Guanheng knew who Ten was, was the one who had told Xuxi his name. But he respected Ten’s privacy. He obviously didn’t want anyone to know they were acquainted in public. He continued to avoid Xuxi at every turn at the academy, and took a seperate car to his house for tutoring. If he was so averse to even being Xuxi’s friend, he couldn’t imagine what he’d say if people knew he was Xuxi’s tutor. Xuxi’s hold on Ten was fragile and fleeting. He couldn’t let anything mess that up. Not even his friends.

That night, Ten left his house in an estate car like any other night. Xuxi had dinner with his parents, and then the house went dull and dark into the night. Xuxi took a long shower, and spent even longer pulling his hair back with handfuls of gel. He dug through his closet like a feral raccoon, coming up with all manner of jeans and hoodies and jackets. For some reason, nothing fit right or matched. Even his trusty weekend standbys felt boring and old. He finally settled on Ten’s recommendation; a clean, white T-shirt and some designer jeans. After a moment of thought, he pulled on his academy issue combat boots. They weren’t pretty, but they made him feel a little more powerful. He finished it off with a black Champion hoodie, and realized he looked about the same as he did every day. He really hoped Ten had something in his size.

Sneaking out felt old hat at this point. He shot some finger guns at the gate guard, who refused to respond. The December air was freezing cold, and he pulled his hands into his sweatshirt. He regretted not bringing a warmer jacket. His fingers were almost completely numb as he shuffled up the steps to the Phoenix academy dorms. He used the door code Guanheng had given him on his drunken night of regret, and quickly slipped into the building without a sound.

He prayed that he wouldn’t run into Guanheng. Xuxi couldn’t handle him being mad at him again. He glanced at the room number scribbled on the inside of his wrist, and slowly made his way through the halls. They weren’t particularly quiet considering it was a Friday night, but Xuxi still jumped at the sound of his phone chiming. He paused, leaning against a concrete pillar between rooms as he pulled up the notification. It was Yuqi.

_ Didi: _

Xixi!!! Do u have your headphones in?

Xuxi actually put a hand to his ear before responding.

_ Xixi: _

No? Why?

_ Didi: _

Then open your damn window!!! It’s freezing out here!!!

Xuxi cursed under his breath. The hand on his ear flew to his forehead before his fingers flew across the keyboard.

_ Xixi: _

R u crazy?! im not home!

_ Didi: _

??? Guanheng said you were pulling an all nighter tonight?

Xuxi cursed again, louder this time. Since when were Yuqi and Guanheng on speaking terms again? Without him? 

“Are you going to stand there cursing all night, or are you going to knock on my door?” Ten’s voiced teased out from the doorway behind him. Xuxi turned with a gasp, still clutching his phone. Ten eyed it. “Is that your girlfriend?”

Xuxi flushed. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Ten rolled his eyes, and turned back into his room. “Whatever, just get in here.”

Xuxi dashed to catch the door as it closed, slipping into Ten’s room as he pocketed his phone. It was quickly forgotten as he gazed around the walls and the ceilings. It was a small, single room with stark white walls and simple black furniture. But every surface was touched by art.

Sketchbook pages were taped to the wall in colorful clumps, some even on the ceiling. Paintbrushes, pens, pencils, and coffee mugs scattered across the small desk. A couple of mugs were still half full, but Xuxi couldn’t tell which ones were for brushes and which ones were for drinking. He had a feeling Ten probably didn’t know either. 

The only surface that was completely clean was the floor, and all the furniture was pressed to the walls to make the most of the tiny space. Three cheap door mirrors were propped up next to each other across from the makeshift dance floor, a tiny bluetooth speaker beside them. Ten flitted about the room, picking up shirts and mugs and smoothing the covers down on his tiny twin sized bed.

“It’s messy as shit in here, don’t judge me,” he grumbled.

Xuxi smiled. “I like it. Did you paint these?” he mosied over to a constellation of pages, all painted with black, white and red. One design stood out. A large red heart hid the silhouette of a rooted figure, red dripping out of an empty chest. Tiny hands reached in towards the figure from tendrils as smaller hearts aimed outwards.

“Don’t touch anything,” Ten warned. “It’s just a hobby.” Xuxi turned to watch Ten scratch at the back of his head. Xuxi was so fascinated by the room itself that he had barely noticed the outfit Ten was wearing. His mouth went a bit dry. 

Ten’s hair was tousled up like it had been the night that they met. His eyes were ringed in smudged kohl liner, ears sparkling with chains and diamonds. His white button up shirt dripped with satin and sheer ruching. It made him look kind of like a pirate, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He did not look like a pirate from the waist down, his legs painted in tight and tiny light denim shorts. He was still in socks, shoe choices strewn about the floor around him. Xuxi had to fight the real urge to say, “feetsies.”

Ten turned to his closet and started digging through it. Xuxi willed himself away from the shorts and instead sat gingerly on the edge of Ten’s bed. Ten turned as he heard the bedsprings creak, obviously annoyed, but quickly returned to his mining operation. “Since your jeans aren’t total shit, we’ll just find you a better top than that trash bag. What size shoe are you?”

Xuxi glanced down at the footwear around him. “Not yours, obviously.”

Ten sighed. “I can’t believe you wore your daddy’s shoes. I guess they’ll do.” with that, he began chucking shirts behind him at Xuxi. Xuxi tried to catch them, but most were satin and silk and slipped from his fingers. A few lace ones caught on his hair and on his shoulders, so he let himself disappear under them. “We’ll just try my oversized stuff, so the sleeves aren’t too short. Now, how do you feel about eyeliner?” He finally turned, and barely stifled a giggle.

Xuxi was well and truly buried. He was a closet monster of colors and textures, widespread hands trying to understand a body harness. He looked up at Ten, slightly dumbstruck. It was a better look than the fear and mischief. Ten could get used to it, maybe.

“Eyeliner?” Xuxi asked, fear creeping back into his voice. Ten grinned, and reached for something on his desk before unburying Xuxi.

“Hold still.” Ten gripped Xuxi’s chin in his hands, sending alarms rolling through Xuxi’s brain. “Look up,” he commanded again, a blurry black pencil heading dangerously close to Xuxi’s eyes.

“Wait, wait, wait! That’s not going to blind me, right?”

Ten shrugged. “Not unless you move too much.” Xuxi squinted at him before finally giving in, looking up at the ceiling between the messy spikes of Ten’s hair. His eyes watered as the pencil made contact with his waterline, and he whined as his eyes twitched uncontrollably. “Shut up, you big baby. I’m almost done,” Ten growled. He pulled in closer to Xuxi’s face. Xuxi felt Ten’s knee brush dangerously warm against his inner thighs. He felt his hands come up to reach for something, he wasn’t sure what. He just sort of held them out like an angry New Yorker as his palms began to sweat.

Considering his family wasn’t huge on intimacy, any human contact made Xuxi a bit nervous. The only time someone had held onto him this long and this close was when Yuqi forced him to wear lipstick in middle school. He tried not to think of Yuqi anymore as Ten’s knee pressed deeper and higher into Xuxi’s thigh.

“There! All done!” Xuxi felt like years passed before Ten finally pulled away, but also somehow just seconds. He jerked his head towards the mirrors, and Xuxi turned to check himself out.

“Oh, not bad,” he hummed. “Not bad at all.”

“Okay, gross. You aren’t that hot. Especially not in that sweatshirt, take it off. You’re already embarrassing me, and we’re not even there yet.” Ten turned away towards the closet again as Xuxi pulled the hoodie up and over his head, his T-shirt riding up with it. Ten looked like he was fiddling with something in the closet, but returned empty handed. Instead, he cleared his throat and picked up a military style shirt from the ground. He chucked it at Xuxi’s bare midriff. “That’s huge on me, so let’s just see what it looks like.”

Xuxi pulled it on. It fit perfect, seams cutting sharply on his wide shoulders. Even with his slightly distressed jeans and messy eyeliner, the combat boots and stiff cotton shirt made him look like a perfect fresh cadet. “Traumatizing,” Ten read. “Let’s try something else.” he rummaged in the pile of shirts before smiling. He said, “Think fast!” and threw another garment at Xuxi. Xuxi’s instincts kicked in and he caught it one handed, only turning towards it once it was secure in his hand.

Xuxi looked down at a familiar garment. The faux fur was softer than he thought it would be, and he ran his thumb across it gently. He looked up at Ten. “Really?” he smirked.

Ten crossed his arms. “Just try it on, stupid.”

Xuxi pulled the vest on, and was irked to see how perfectly it fit with his outfit. Ten seemed delighted, clapping his hands twice before shuffling through his desk again. “Perfect!” He cried. “Now come on, we’re going to be late. I know my phone is around here somewhere, it’s probably blowing the fuck up because of those nerds.”

“It’s freezing out there, is that really what you’re going to wear?” the vest was well lined, so Xuxi felt surprisingly warm in it. Ten on the other hand, was wearing tissue paper.

Ten held his arms out solemnly. “A hoe never gets cold. Now let’s go.”

Xuxi shook his head. He shuffled around in the bed clothes pile before jogging to catch Ten already headed out the door. He walked surprisingly fast, so Xuxi hovered behind him like an eager stray dog. “Are we going to Alpha?”

“Beta,” Ten corrected. “And yes. Did you bring cash?”

“Probably.” The wind picked up, and Xuxi watched Ten fold his arms in on himself. Ten had grabbed studded denim sneakers on his way out the door, and the metal reflected the streetlights like little sparks on his smooth legs.

“Who are the nerds?”

“Who?”

“The people in your group chat?”

A shiver escaped Ten before he could help it, and he cleared his throat before answering. “You wouldn’t know them, they don’t go to the academy. Just some old friends.”

“Are they nice?” Xuxi asked.

Ten grunted. “Define nice.” He shuddered again, and Xuxi could see the goosebumps rising on the back of his legs and neck. 

Ten heard Xuxi sigh before the street went completely dark. He stopped, suddenly unable to move his arms, too. “What the fuck?” he screeched before his head popped unceremoniously through a neck hole. He looked down at boring black hoodie engulfing his torso and effectively ruining his entire outfit. “What the actual fuck,” he said again, turning towards Xuxi in a rage. 

Ten’s intimidation level was severely handicapped by his new cotton prison. He still hadn’t pulled his hands through the armholes, so his top half was just a black blob supported by two tiny now naked-looking legs. The slight flush creeping onto his cheeks also didn’t help.

“Cute,” Xuxi muttered.

“What the fuck did you say?” 

“Nothing,” Xuxi shrugged. “Is it this way? Let’s keep walking.” Xuxi curved out of striking distance as he continued around Ten without looking back. Ten felt anger pooling heat into his cheeks, but also felt his arms finally thawing inside the giant hoodie. He shoved his arms through the holes and caught up with Xuxi in huge stomps. It was a shitty hoodie, but he also didn’t want to die just yet. He could take it off and lose it in the club as revenge. He thought about the pouty look spoiled brat Xuxi would give him after ditching it. He tried not to think about the look on Xuxi’s face after Ten had emerged from it. 

“If that messed up my hair, I will kill you. I’m not joking.”

Xuxi stuck his hands in the pockets of Ten’s vest. “I know.”

They walked for a while in silence. Xuxi was buzzing with excitement. He let Ten lead the way, looking tiny from the back in Xuxi’s sweatshirt. Yuqi looked like that whenever she stayed over and borrowed a sweatshirt to sleep in. He almost missed Ten turning a sharp corner as he lost himself in thought.

“Keep up, young master!” Ten called back over his shoulder. 

“Are we almost there?”

Ten turned and skipped backwards a while. Xuxi finally saw his hands shoved deep into the hoodie pockets, like he belonged in it. Xuxi grinned. “We’ve got like five minutes, it’s pretty close,” Ten hummed. “You brought cash like I told you, right? The cover can be no joke if there’s a show.”

“A show?”

Ten sniffed, looking a bit nervous. He was smiling though, a new life brightening his expression as the neared the club. He was a whole different person from Ten-laoshi. “You’ll see when we get there.” He turned again and flopped a bouncy sweater paw out in front of him. “See that? We’re almost there!”

Sure enough, a pink glow emerged from above the building in front of them. The top half of the word  _ Beta  _ was just barely visible in bright neon cursive. Xuxi’s heart quickened. He was so close to the mystery he’d somehow avoided for so long. And with Ten, of all people. The biggest mystery of all. 

Questions flitted through his mind like the butterflies in his stomach. What should he order when they got there? He knew how to take a tequila shot now, thankfully. Would they dance? Xuxi thought he was a pretty good dancer. He was coordinated, at least. Would they dance together? Would Ten dance with him? Where would he put his hands? What did Ten look like when he danced? Up close?

Ten stopped in his tracks, and Xuxi stopped just short of him. Ten had his phone out, getting a call. Xuxi nosed over his shoulder and read “TaeTae” on the screen. Ten answered it, pushing Xuxi’s face away from him as he did.

“We’re almost there, where are you guys?” Ten answered without hesitation. “No, I told you I was bringing the tutor kid with me. Yeah, the rich one.” 

Xuxi didn’t have time to be offended as Ten’s entire body clenched in the next second. He sucked in a small breath, knuckles turning white on the phone as the voice on the other end chattered on. “You’re fucking kidding me,” he finally muttered.

“What’s wro—”

“Shut up.” Ten put his hand out in front of Xuxi’s face, but Xuxi could tell he was shaking. “Are you sure it was him? What if we just go to Tracks instead?” The other voice on the line sounded wary. “Yeah, I know. Fuck! Of all nights. No, its okay. I’ll just head back home. It’s fine. Yeah. You too. Bye.”

Ten nearly dropped his phone as his whole body slumped forward. All of the life from seconds before drained out of him. He stared blankly at the ground.

“Ten? What is it, what’s wrong?” 

Ten gasped, blinking up at Xuxi as he shook off his thoughts. “Sorry, Master Huang. Guess we’re not going out tonight.”

Xuxi tried not to look absolutely devastated. “What? Why?”

“Because I said so. Don’t ask questions.”

Now, Xuxi tried not to look absolutely furious. “Are you kidding me? You can’t just change your mind like that and not tell me what’s going on.” Ten turned and started off in the direction they came in. “Hey, don’t walk away from me! Why can’t we go? Who did they see?”

“I told you not to ask questions!” Ten shouted without looking back. Xuxi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Even Ten’s heavy stomps looked sad. Xuxi wasn’t stupid, not when it came to this. Something serious had happened, and getting angry wasn’t going to get answers. After three breaths, he opened his eyes and jogged a bit to catch up with Ten. 

When he glanced over, Xuxi knew he was right. Ten’s eyes were wide but his brows furrowed, lost in thought as he strode through the empty streets. Besides the anger, Xuxi saw something he’d never seen in Ten’s face before: dread.

He held down his curiosity with iron chains. It wasn’t his place to ask. It wasn’t the time. He simply walked beside Ten as quietly as he could, waiting for the storm to pass. 

About halfway to the dorms, Ten took a different turn. Xuxi started to protest, but Ten turned to him with a sad smile. “Can we just keep walking? Just a little bit longer.”

Xuxi nodded. “Of course, whatever you need.” Ten seemed surprised at the kindness, but thanked him anyways. They walked down a smaller side street, slowing a bit as they wandered. The street lamps here were dimmer, more yellow. They turned again, and lamps became few and far between. A red traffic light in the distance was their main source of light. It cast a ruddy shadow over the hood drawn up around Ten’s head, enveloping his face in shadow. 

“I’m sorry.” It had been nearly five minutes since either of them had spoken, and Xuxi almost didn’t catch Ten’s tiny whisper.

“Don’t apologize,” he replied as gently as he could. It felt like trying to feed a stray cat. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I dragged you out here for nothing. And now, I’m getting us lost in the city for no damn reason.”

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you and whoever that guy was, but obviously you have a good reason not to see him. And I like getting lost.” Xuxi looked up at the stars, breathing in the cold night air. “I like getting lost with you.” Ten whipped towards him, but Xuxi still couldn’t make out his expression. “Just one thing though? If I can?”

Ten shrugged, and kicked a small pebble down the sidewalk. “Shoot.”

“Why do we have to go all the way back home? I mean, it’s okay. I’m okay with it. But aren’t there other clubs around?”

Ten took a second before replying, as if carefully crafting every sentence. “There are. But there are only a few that my friends and I usually go to. The other ones aren’t as… welcoming. And chances are that he’s going to be hopping the same route that we’re on. Our world is sort of small.”

Xuxi bit his lip to keep in the other questions. He found pieces of lint in the vest pockets to play with as a distraction. The vest felt so gaudy and out of place now on a slow midnight walk. Ten slowly found their way back to the dorms, the tall cement buildings now in their sights. Xuxi hated seeing them on a good day, but now it meant their night was coming to an end. 

He thought he would feel relieved. Now he could get home, take off the liner that was making his eyes itch, take off this ridiculous vest, and go to bed without embarrassing himself in a drunken social situation again. But he was disappointed. Maybe it wasn’t disappointment, but dissatisfaction. He had started this night hoping for answers, but now all he had were more questions than when he started. 

One stood out above all the others as they approached the glass doors. Ten unlocked it, and Xuxi held it open as Ten slipped inside. His face was finally visible in the bright porch light, still swathed in Xuxi’s hoodie. Xuxi paused for just a second, mouth open as they made eye contact, and Ten read him like an open book. The one question Xuxi couldn’t let go, but didn’t dare to ask. Who was powerful enough to send Lee Yong Qin running?

“My ex-boyfriend,” Ten said. And without another word, he turned and walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SYKE but still juicy, no??? ty for leaving comments and kudos!


	15. The First Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall im gonna try and update twice a week! now that the holidays are over, my schedule is a little more regular so i should have some set time in front of yee old word processor. thanks again for all the support!

Yangyang didn’t show up during Xuxi’s shift for days. Dejun had said it was unusual for him to come in in the mornings, but Xuxi couldn’t help but feel there was something more to it. Who wouldn’t take a free drink? Regardless of the time of day? It was two weeks until a puff of quaffed orange hair bounced through the cafe door. It was styled over a black bandanna, and Xuxi thought of Ten as soon as he saw it.

He pushed down the flutter in his stomach as Yangyang approached the counter. Finally, the distraction he’d been looking for. Yuqi hadn’t spoken to him in a week for some reason, Ten was unusually quiet in their sessions, and the word, “Ex-boyfriend” had been echoing in a thick fog between his ears. He needed to think about someone else’s problems for just a while. “Look who finally got out of bed on time,” he teased. Yangyang squinted at him. His face was puffy with lack of sleep. Xuxi pulled back on the older brother energy. “What’s the damage, then? The usual?”

Yangyang nodded, and looked to Dejun with a smile. Dejun thought hard for a second before reciting, “Medium in a large caramel frappe coconut two pumps vanilla salted caramel swirl with extra whip and sprinkles!”

Yangyang smiled, but shook his head. “So close! With one pump vanilla!”

Dejun pouted, and changed the order in the register. “I could have sworn it was that,” he mumbled. 

“Its okay,” Yangyang cooed. “You’ll get it!”

Xuxi’s hands stopped on mug he was drying. He set it down with a loud clatter, and Yangyang glanced up at him nervously before immediately avoiding eye contact. He stared Yangyang down as he pulled a small slip of paper from his back pocket. He frowned at it, and it crumpled slightly in his grip. He shoved it back into his pocket. He exchanged his credit card for Yangyang’s cup in Dejun’s hand. Yangyang slinked away to his tiny back table.

Xuxi set Yangyang’s cup down loudly on the table, and Dejun called “Careful, houbei!” absent-mindedly from behind the counter. He kept an eye on the two, eyeing Xuxi’s crossed arms nervously. That table was just far enough to be out of earshot.

“You’re lying,” Xuxi said.

Yangyang grabbed his drink and leaned back in his chair as he sipped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said simply.

Xuxi took the small slip of paper from his pocket and slammed it onto the table. Yangyang felt his palm go clammy as he read it. The handwriting was abhorrent, but he recognized his order scribbled out in shorthand. At least, what his order had been weeks ago.

“This is your order.”

“No its not, stupid. You must have written it down wrong.”

“I didn’t, and I know I didn’t. Because I copied it from the register.”

Yangyang swallowed. “So what?” he said indignantly. “What are you trying to prove? That tastes can’t change?”

“I’m proving that you’ve been lying to Dejun for weeks. For no reason.” Xuxi felt his voice rise. He didn’t care if Dejun heard. He should know that this orange snake had been bullying him for months.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yangyang scoffed. 

Xuxi scoffed back, shifting his hands to his hips. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You come in here every time with your ridiculous order, and Dejun tries so hard to memorize it. And then you change it every single time, and blame him for getting it wrong! I don’t get what you’re trying to pull, but Dejun doesn’t deserve it. He’s a perfect angel, and i’m not going to let you bully him right in front of me. I thought we were cool, dude. Why are you doing this?”

“It has nothing to do with you, and I know he’s a perfect angel!” Yangyang burst. He looked over at the counter in a panic, but Dejun was too busy taking an order to hear him. 

Xuxi put a hand on his chest in surprise. “Then why are you being so mean?”

“I’m not being mean, I just…” Yangyang’s ears started to flush a hot pink. “It’s none of your business. You’re just going to make fun of me.”

“I’m not the one who makes fun of people here.”

Yangyang huffed. He refused to look up from his cup. “He wouldn’t talk to me otherwise. When I came in before, he always got my order right. He wouldn’t even say it out loud, he’d just take my card.”

Xuxi processed for a second before replying, “So you tell him the order is wrong… So he’ll talk to you more?”

“See, I knew you would make fun of me.” Yangyang took an indignant sip of his drink. His ears burned.

“I’m not making fun of you, I’m just confused. Why don’t you just ask him out, then? I’m not judging. My tutor is gay, actually. I think he is. Bisexual? Actually, now that I think about it I have no idea—”

Yangyang choked, and Dejun finally looked over with concern. Yangyang hid behind his hand. “I’m not fucking gay,” he managed to get out between coughs.

Xuxi rolled his eyes. “Okay, don’t have a fit. Just ask him to meet you somewhere other than the cafe. Go out to lunch or something. You know, like sane people do when they want to make a new friend.”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“And making him upset about getting your order wrong is so much better?!” Xuxi exclaimed.

“I don’t want to make him sad,” Yangyang protested. “He’s just… He’s just so bright and cheery all the time. But he does that for everyone, you know? It’s stupid, I get it. But I wanted to be different. He’s so special. I wanted him to think that I was special, too. I didn’t want him to look at me like everyone else. Don’t look at me like that, Huang Xuxi. I know I’m a freak.”

“Actually, I think I know how you feel—”

“You’re not a freak, Xiaoyang.” Xuxi jumped at the small voice behind him, and turned to reveal Dejun clutching a small water cup in his hands. He was a tiny tomato under his cloud of white hair. Yangyang scrambled to his feet, ready to make a hasty escape. Xuxi put a hand on his shoulder and easily forced him back into his seat.

“No, I’m so tired of this,” Xuxi said. “You two are so goddamn awkward, and I cannot stand it anymore. Yangyang, do you want to be Dejun’s friend?”

Yangyang coughed, but nodded.

“Good. Dejun, do you want to be this absolutely insane boy’s friend?”

Dejun placed the water cup in front of Yangyang, slightly ignoring Xuxi the ambassador. “I don’t think you’re a freak or insane, Yang. And i’m not, um, a perfect angel.” He put air quotes around the title.

“You heard that?” Yangyang whispered.

Dejun smiled before he continued. “I’m really just nice for tips. If I’m going to stand here and listen to these spoiled rich kids talk about their petty drama— no offense, Xuxi— I’m going to take them for everything they’re worth.”

“No offense taken.”

“But you’re different, Yangyang.”

Yangyang finally looked up. “I am?”

“Yes. Everyone else is annoying because they’re rich and powerful. You’re just fucking annoying.” Xuxi’s eyebrows shot up before Dejun continued. “And I fucking love it.”

To Xuxi’s surprise, Yangyang sniffed. “Damn. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” he replied.

“It is?” Xuxi asked, but neither of them were paying him any attention. 

“I believe you,” Dejun laughed. “You really know how to get on someone’s nerves.”

“So… You knew then, didn’t you? That I was changing my order,” Yangyang winced.

“Of course I did. I’m pretty, but I’m not dumb.” 

The two boys smiled at each other fondly, and Xuxi was ready for this moment to be over. He held out his hands. “Phones,” he barked. To his surprise, two landed in his hands. He crossed his arms to switch them. “Numbers.” The two complied again, hurriedly saving their numbers in each other’s contacts. 

“I’m changing your name to Annoying Orange,” Dejun giggled as soon as he got his phone back.

“No need,” Yangyang replied. “That’s what I typed.”

Dejun looked at Yangyang, softly touched, and Xuxi almost gagged. “If anyone minds, I will be actually working,” he sighed and returned to the counter. Dejun disregarded his duties a little longer, actually sitting across from Yangyang to chat. Xuxi struggled to keep up with a new rush, but he didn’t feel too bad. Friends were more important than work, especially the new ones. Even the weird ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> g'bless dumb rich boys


	16. The First Hello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter ended up being a bit bigger of a bite for me than I thought, so 1 chapter this week! please forgive meh

Xuxi massaged the kink in his neck absentmindedly as he and Guanheng sat down for lunch the following Monday. It had now been exactly sixteen days since Yuqi stopped speaking to him. He tried not to worry about it. They were adults now, and friends grew apart sometimes as adults, right? They had been inseparable since kids. Surely, she just wanted some time apart. She was always better at making friends than him anyways. She had a slew of partners wanting to face her as their combat class final boss.

“Did I go too hard on you today?” Guanheng grimaced, nodding towards the hand on Xuxi’s neck. 

Xuxi shook his head. “No, it’s just been bugging me for a while. I’m not sure what I did to it.”

“You didn’t hurt it during class or anything? Did you hit the mat wrong?” Xuxi shook his head. “Did you sleep on it weird in Diplomacy?”

“No, I wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping in that class,” Xuxi chuckled. “If I were caught, I would be…Well, dead.”

Guanheng chewed on the end of his metal cafeteria spoon. It made a nasty clinking sound that slightly horrified Xuxi. “Maybe it’s not physical then. Maybe it’s stress? Something been bothering you?”

“Not specifically,” Xuxi grumbled.

Guanheng scoffed. “Not specifically? Not specifically about the fact that the girl you’ve been joined at the hip with since you were six, is suddenly not talking to you? Not weird at all? Not at all bothering you?” Xuxi was silent. “Yukhei, you read like a hardboard book. You know, the ones they give to babies? So they don’t rip them? You’ve been hiding something from me. Don’t look at me like that with the puppy eyes, I’m sure you have a good reason. But I can tell it’s getting to you. You know you can trust me, right?”

Xuxi did know. Who was he kidding? To be honest, it was painfully obvious that Yuqi was mad about something. She always went radio silent when something was truly wrong. Granted, never for this long. So Xuxi thought it really could have been something else. But Yuqi knew that she was one of Xuxi’s only friends, that she meant… A lot to him. How much she knew, he wasn’t sure. Going this long without talking was agonizing for him. She was punishing him for something. 

Xuxi took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll tell you,” he said. “But it’s kind of a long story. And you really,  _ really  _ can’t tell anyone this. Anything about it, okay? It’s not even really my secret to share.” And so he told Guanheng everything. From his failing grades, to Ten’s sudden appearance at his home, to Ten’s tutoring. To the night they were supposed to go to the club, but plans were cancelled. He still fudged the details on that one, telling him that Ten had forgotten about a concert he wanted to watch the livestream of that night. He might be exposing Ten’s side job, but he would never expose his sexuality. He wasn’t that kind of dumb.

“So you got home, went to bed, and then Yuqi just stopped talking to you?”

“Yeah, it was super weird. She’s usually super focused on homework on Sundays, so I didn’t notice until Monday.”

“Did you text her back?”

Xuxi’s chopsticks stopped midway between his mouth and the plate. “What?”

“You said she texted you when you went to meet up with Ten-ge. Did you text her back after that?”

A piece of pork fell from Xuxi’s chopsticks. “Yeah, of course I did. I must have. We text each other every time we get home, so we know the other is safe. It’s just our thing. It’s habit. I don’t even think about it most of the time, it’s usually just an automatic message from a GPS app.” Guanheng’s eyebrows raised just a millimeter, but he didn’t say anything. “Seriously, it’s second nature. Of course I texted her back.” Xuxi’s palms began to sweat, and his chopsticks slipped and clattered as he set them down. “I texted her, Guanheng.”

Guanheng’s mouth pressed into a straight line. “I think you should check, Yukhei.”

The pain in Xuxi’s neck grew as he reached for his phone, scrolling down his chats. Dejun, Guanheng, Ten… Yuqi. The pain pulsed into a stabbing knife, and the edges of his vision went blurry. He was so stupid. So very stupid. He had marked Yuqi’s messages as read without even looking at them, and never once thought to check again.

_ Didi: _

??? Guanheng said you were pulling an all nighter tonight?

_ Didi: _

Hello????? i get it, im going back home. Can you at least tell me where you are?

_ Didi: _

??????????? seriously where the fuck are you

_ Didi: _

ok just don’t miss your check in text. seriously. i can’t believe you just went out and didn’t tell me. not cool.

_ Didi: _

your gps isnt on. are you okay?

Xuxi let his phone clatter to the table, holding his head in his hands. Guanheng sucked a slow inhale through his teeth. “I’m guessing that’s a no, then?” Xuxi just groaned. “Look on the bright side,” Guanheng said gently. “At least you know why she’s mad now. And it’s just a text, she obviously knows that you’re okay now. I’m sure she’ll forgive you. I bet she was just testing you.”

“You don’t get it. It’s not just a text. It was the most important thing, and I forgot about it because I was… distracted.”

“She can’t expect you to really remember to text her every time,  _ and  _ keep your GPS on,” Guanheng laughed, breathy and a bit nervous. “That’s ridiculous. It drains your battery.”

“It’s not ridiculous!” Xuxi’s hands fell from his face. He shoved his phone in his pocket, and pushed his tray away from him. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Guanheng placed a firm hand on Xuxi’s wrist. “Then help me understand.”

Xuxi sighed. He was already this deep, and he was going to need any and all helping hands to pull him out.

“Yuqi was kidnapped.”

Guanheng blinked. “Sorry, run that by me again?”

“When we were thirteen, Yuqi was kidnapped. Public opinion was getting hostile, and she was an easy target. Almost too easy, a general’s daughter. It seems really cliche now. But back then, it was the most terrifying thing that had ever happened to either of us.”

“Xuxi, I’m sorry.”

He smirked. “It’s not like you kidnapped her, don’t be. But the thing was, neither of us had phones yet. Our parents were really holding out, trying so hard to make sure we didn’t make any mistakes online that would embarrass them. They didn’t expect that sort of thing to happen. No one did. I didn’t find out until a day later. They just… didn’t think to tell me.” Xuxi’s mind filled with memories still too close to the surface. Waiting for hours, staring at the landline phone, surrounded by guards he hadn’t ever seen before. His throat ragged and dry from the screaming, the crying, the pain. “It was like my entire world had been ripped away from me, and I was just falling in empty space. For three days.”

“She was gone for three whole days?! How did they find her?”

Xuxi smiled softly. “She escaped. And never told anyone how. She was never the same. After that, they got her the newest phone and I threw a fit until I got one, too. We made a promise that we’d always know where the other one is. Always, without fail.”

“And you’ve been keeping that up for—”

“Six years. Until now, I guess. Sorry Guanheng, I really have to go find her.” Xuxi scooped up his tray. “It’s already been way too long, who knows if she’ll even forgive me at this point.”

“Go do what you have to do,” Guanheng nodded. “But it was an honest mistake. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Xuxi thought about honesty. How long it took to finally be honest with Guanheng, how easy it was when he finally did it. “Honest mistakes can still get someone hurt,” he replied. 

He raced out of the cafeteria at full speed, barely even slowing down as he heard his name being called in the distance. He didn’t even stop until Ten stepped in front of him, popping out of a secret hiding spot with no Yuqi in it.

“Hey, big man on campus! Didn’t you hear me calling you?” Ten’s brow furrowed. Xuxi still hadn’t looked him in the eye. In fact, he was still looking over Ten, searching with wild eyes for something in the distance. “Hello? Down here?”

“Sorry, Ten,” Xuxi mumbled. “I’m kind of really busy right now, is it important?”

Ten’s heart twanged. He knew it. He knew he had overthought this whole thing. He had planned a whole grand entrance into Xuxi’s life, had planned to step into his public sphere with the grace of a Cool Older Guy who had finally responded to Xuxi’s constant annoying frat calls. They had become less frequent as of late, and Ten figured Xuxi had finally found common courtesy. Now, a whole new thought came to mind. What if Xuxi wasn’t actually cool? What if he was lying?

“Maybe, I don’t know. I just wanted to thank you, I guess? For being cool about what I said on Friday. And hanging out with me. And— hey, are you even paying attention? Hello? What’s got you all riled up, Daddy’s boy?”

Xuxi rolled his eyes. Actually rolled his eyes in Ten’s presence. He started to feel the heat of stares upon them. He’d planned for them, had wanted a big audience of freshman he’d been nice to to boost his ego. Now they had just the grand prince of their class  _ roll his eyes _ at him.

“Can we talk later, then? I’ll see you after school anyways, I just— Oh shit, Yuqi!” Xuxi pushed past him, almost checking him in the shoulder. The giant labrador bounded away, calling her name over and over as he went. Ten’s vision went red around the edges. He just barely saw Xuxi falling to his knees and grovelling in front of the haughty princess, before he shut his eyes closed. He took a long, deep breath before stomping over to them. He was not done with Xuxi yet.

As he approached, he started to catch on to their conversation. Yuqi had her arms crossed and her hip cocked, looking down at Xuxi like he’d just chewed up her favorite pair of shoes.

“How am I supposed to believe you?” she hissed.

Xuxi looked close to tears, and for some reason it made Ten even angrier. “Please, you know I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry, I would never do it on purpose. You know that. My phone died, and I never got the notifications for the other messages.”

“Seriously? That’s so fucking fake. You won’t even tell me where you were, how am I supposed to believe your phone suddenly died on a Friday night? Seems pretty convenient.”

“I was studying, I told you that. I had an all-nighter—”

“He was with me,” Ten interrupted. He dragged Xuxi to his feet by his elbow. “You’re mad about that Friday, aren’t you? He was texting you, didn’t respond? He was with me that night.”

Both Yuqi and Xuxi turned on him with fire in their eyes. Despite the height difference, both were equally terrifying. Ten chuckled nervously. “What? Didn’t you want the truth?”

“Ten, don’t,” Xuxi warned.

“I took him out, Princess. He looked like he needed a break from the royal court, so I invited him to the commoners’ quarters. Is that against your rules? Did you need your puppy that night?”

“Ten, you aren’t helping.”

Yuqi turned her fury back on Xuxi. “You fucking lied to me?” she whispered. “Your phone died, are you kidding me? You were out having the time of your fucking life, and couldn’t take one second to let me know you were  _ safe? _ ”

“Didi, it wasn’t like that. We didn’t even make it to the club, we—” Yuqi’s hand went up, cutting Xuxi off. 

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.” She stormed off without a second look, even as Xuxi called her name over and over.

Ten rested his hands on his hips. He knew he could be dramatic, but this was a new level. “Damn,” he whistled. “What’s that bitch’s problem?”

In less than a second, the wind was knocked from his chest. Xuxi held him against the wall, the outside of his forearm dangerously close to Ten’s throat. “Don’t you ever call her that,” Xuxi growled. He looked even bigger than usual, his raised hackles casting a dark shadow over Ten. “Ever.”

Ten almost fell to the floor as Xuxi released him, stomping away to catch up with Yuqi. His eyes stung. He had never seen Xuxi that angry. He didn’t think Xuxi could get that angry. He was always all chaotic energy, cheesy smiles, whiny pouts, kind eyes— Ten clenched his jaw and straightened himself out. It didn’t matter. He was bigger than these petty squabbles. He heard someone call his name, and reluctantly turned.

Guanheng bounded up to him. “Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry Xuxi did that, he just realized he did something really bad, I think he’s going a little crazy.”

“It wasn’t even that bad,” he scoffed. “Like I would know, though. I wasn’t even involved with—”

“Ten-ge,” Guanheng stopped him softly. “He told me everything. Yuqi’s been mad at him because he didn’t text back when you guys went out.”

“What a control freak,” Ten snarled. Then, like a tide rising onto the rocks, he felt panic start to wash over his bones. “Wait, you said he told you  _ everything _ ? Like why we didn’t make it to the club?”

Guanheng nodded. “I don’t think you should be so concerned with revealing what you do in your free time, ge.”

Ten nearly choked. That was the strangest response he’d ever gotten to someone finding out about his sexuality. “It’s not that simple, Donkey. It wasn’t his place to say anything at all. To anyone. It’s  _ my  _ business.”

Guanheng grimaced at the nickname Ten refused to change, but shrugged. “I’d say it’s probably the business of both of you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Ten snapped.

“I mean, it’s better not to lie. Xuxi has to tell Yuqi something.”

“No, he fucking doesn’t. He doesn’t have to tell anyone! Anything!” Ten tried not to choke on the lump forming in his throat. “And neither do I!”

He pushed past Guanheng in a huff. A small crowd had formed around the scene, and Guanheng realized he was the only one left in the spotlight. He shooed them away with a forced smile, trying to ignore the whispers and odd stares. He flopped down on a nearby bench, and held his head in his hands. “What the fuck just happened?” he whispered, and tipped over onto his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 comment = 1 head pat for hendery


	17. The First Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters a week? who said that? show me their face, i'll fight them!
> 
> sorry about the delay guys, work has been a bit hectic. forgive me uwu

Ten reclined against the flimsy headboard of his tiny twin bed. His phone beside him was vibrating incessantly, but he made no move to answer. He closed his eyes, content to let the world continue on around him. Maybe if he lay there still enough, the world would forget him for years. Not death, really. Just a very long nap.

There was a brief silence as the phone wrapped up another unanswered call, and he savored it before it started up again. This was number twenty-three. A new record, he thought. He finally picked up.

“Hey, mom,” he sighed.

“Incredible,” the woman on the other side drawled. “Look who decided to pick up. So happy you’ve decided to bless us with your presence.”

“Hanging up now, bye…”

“Chittaphon.”

Ten pulled the receiver away from his mouth and sighed again. This was going to be painful.

“Yes, mother.”

“How have you been, darling? Since apparently you’re alive. Not alive enough to call your own mother, though.”

“Yes, I’ve been in a coma. Just barely clinging to life. It was a miracle, I woke up as soon as I heard the phone ring for the twenty-third time. One less, and they would have pulled the plug on me. All the nurses are crying.”

“I hear you’re playing housemaid to the Huangs. Care to explain?”

The snap in Ten’s bite withered away. “How did you find out about that? And I’m not playing housemaid, I’m tutoring his son.” Although that might be ruined at this point, he thought.

“Is that supposed to be better? Everything I give to you, and you waste it away on worthless men. What does he have on you?”

“Ahspenhucar,” Ten mumbled.

“Speak up,” his mother hissed. “Or have you been their dog for so long that you’ve forgotten how to speak?”

“I spray-painted his car!” Ten repeated. “He insulted you, so I taught him a lesson.”

Ten’s mother paused for a second, and he could hear her long nails rap against the phone case. “Not a very good lesson, obviously,” she said finally. “What did he say?”

Ten shrugged before he remembered she couldn’t see him. “The usual stuff. That you’re a whore, that you got your money from sleeping with powerful mainlanders.”

“And that made you stupid enough to vandalize the car of one of the most powerful men in the city? In the country?”

“I’m sorry, mother.”

His mother took a deep breath, and Ten heard the phone rattle around as she switched ears. He knew what was coming. She always switched ears before one of her rants, claiming the ear sweat gave her wrinkles.

“Son, I’m disappointed in you,” she started. As if it wasn’t obvious already. “I don’t give a shit what those men say, and neither should you. They will always say we are whores. They’ll say we are rats and snakes, residents of the sewers, the lowest scum of society. And honey, we are.”

“Mother—”

“Don’t you dare interrupt me. Did I raise you to interrupt a woman when she’s talking? Did I raise you to act on emotion and put this entire family at risk? Did I raise you to bend to the will of any man with an ounce of power?” She paused, but Ten didn’t dare speak. “Did I? Answer me, you useless boy.”

“No, mother. You didn’t.”

“Are you fucking his son?”

“No, mother,” Ten said through clenched teeth.

“Maybe you should be,” his mother mused. “At least that would give you some sort of advantage.”

Something in Ten cracked. “I’m not like you, mother. I don’t need to use sex for power.”

The line went deadly silent, and Ten was sure she had hung up. When she spoke again, it was in a low tone that felt more threatening than any scream or threat. She had taught him that. No one paid attention to a shrill woman. 

“You are exactly like me, son. And the sooner you realize that, the better. What else are you going to use, then? Money? Status? You think we have that choice? That privilege? It doesn’t matter how much money we gain, it does not matter how many men we place under our control, it does not matter how much land we spread our influence over. These men are fat pigs stuffed with their own junk words of honor and justice. They jerk off to the image of their father’s estate, then wipe their hands on the flag. Every soul has a price. And it’s easily paid. They play these games for fun, knowing they’re still the house. And it doesn’t matter how long you play their game, or how good you get at it. They’ll flip the table on you as soon as they get bored.” 

She sighed. Her tone grew gentler, but no less commanding. “You will never win their game by playing by the rules, my son. The best we can do is cheat them out of whatever we can before they realize it. If that means using sex, use it. If that means getting your hands dirty with the scum of sewer folk, do it. If that means getting blood on your hands—”

“Mother, please.”

“It’s necessary, son. For our survival.”

“I’m not going to kill anyone.”

“My son, it’s time you got over this childish view of the world. How long are you going to hide in that little school?”

“You put me here!”

“To keep you safe until you were ready to join my side! Don’t you think it’s time you came home to me, to your family, where you belong? Don’t you think it’s time you grew up?”

Ten scoffed. “And growing up means killing someone?” he asked.

His mother hummed. “It doesn’t… Not mean that. My dear, there’s something you should know. This might be the perfect opportunity for you, and I need you to be an adult about this. There’s a large bounty for an assassination, and I’m going ba—” 

Ten hung up the phone. He threw it across the room, where it clattered and crunched against the door. His whole body shook. 

Minutes later, he flinched as the phone sang loudly. He snuck up on it, and turned it over. He swore as he saw the screen now cracked and splintered. He had acted out on his emotions again. The screen lit up with a tiny alarm clock and notification: Tutor Dumbass.

He shoved the phone in his book bag and slammed it onto his shoulder. He pressed his forehead against the cool panelling of the door. He wouldn’t be a killer. But there were other ways he could make his mother proud.

Xuxi felt like throwing up. He was giddy, high on the feeling of Yuqi finally forgiving him after a long talk and promises of gifts. She had a hard shell to crack on the best of days, but this one had been especially difficult. He understood why, but he was still weirdly proud of himself for making it through. No one else knew her like him.

But Ten sat across from him at the small floor table in his room in a cloud of black smoke. He hadn’t said a word since he’d arrived at the estate, and Xuxi figured why. He bottled up his glee, and saved it for later.

“I’m sorry, laoshi,” Xuxi finally spoke up.

“For what?” Ten asked. His eyes were still glazed with thoughts, barely even glancing at Xuxi.

“F-for blowing up on you like that? It wasn’t your fault, what happened with Yuqi. I should have just told her the truth in the first place.”

“Oh,” Ten shifted uncomfortably. “Sure.”

“Are you still mad?” Xuxi looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. He was curled up over his homework, trying his hardest to be smaller than Ten. It was quite the feat, and Ten barely contained a bemused grin. It was impossible to think that the same boy had easily thrown his body against the wall.

“No, I’m not still mad at you. It did fucking hurt, though.” 

Xuxi flushed, looking down at his large hands. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I did that.”

Ten knew exactly why he did it. And he cursed himself for not seeing it sooner.

“Is she still mad at you?”

“No, actually,” Xuxi grinned, with a sparkle in his eye. Ten felt a small knife twist between his ribs, but he ignored it. “She drove a hard bargain, but there’s a wing chun dummy she’s been wanting for a while so I got her one. She was pretty giddy after just a few hits, so I don’t think she’ll stay mad at me for long.”

“So you just… Bought your way out?”

Xuxi whined, “Don’t put it like that. That sounds so greasy! I apologized sincerely, I just got her a gift to help it along. That’s all.”

_ Every soul has its price. _

“Was it expensive?” Ten asked, keeping his voice low.

Xuxi thought for a moment, then shook his head. “Not really. It was pretty easy to convince my parents to help me out, too. They love Yuqi, they’d do anything for her. Even if it’s sending a weirdly specific gift with no context,” he laughed.

_ And it’s easily paid. _

Ten’s teeth started to hurt. He couldn’t tell how long he had been clenching his jaw, but it ached as he opened his mouth. “Number six is wrong. Pay attention to the context.”

Xuxi finally looked back down at his homework in shock and disgust, taking a huge gummy eraser to the paper before starting over.

For too long, the only sound in the room was Xuxi’s pencil scratching against paper. Every once in a while he glanced over at Ten, who’s eyes had glazed over once more. He said he wasn’t mad, but he looked tense. Like his body had been balled tightly around a spool, and one snapped thread could send him spiralling outwards.

Xuxi’s chicken scratching slowed, leaving the room even more deadly quiet. Ten didn’t notice though, for the ringing in his ears. It wasn’t until Xuxi called his name too gently, that Ten finally turned.

“Are you still mad?” he cringed.

“I told you I’m not,” Ten replied.

“It just seems like you are. Or that there’s something you’re not telling me?” Ten was staring him down with daggers in his eyes, but Xuxi dare not look away. “I want to make it up to you, just tell me how.”

“I don’t need you to make anything up to me,” Ten snarled.

Xuxi watched a thread in Ten twang and vibrate, but it didn’t snap. The curiosity in his bones outweighed the fear once more. He reached out for it and pulled. “You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t ask for it.”

Ten slammed his hands onto the table, narrowly avoiding stabbing a pencil through his palm. “Is that how it works, then? I just ask for what I want and I’ll get it?”

Xuxi shrugged. “That’s not what I meant, but for you—”

“No, Daddy’s Boy, that’s exactly what you meant. That’s exactly how it works for you in this world.”

“Ten, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Shut up,” Ten hissed. The small wooden table teetered and clattered as he stood. “You’re just like him. I thought maybe you would be different, but you’re really just like him.”

Xuxi’s brow furrowed over his confusion. “Don’t say that, why are you saying that? Just tell me what’s wrong instead of insulting me, please.”

“So you can buy a new car or a studio or a fucking puppy? So you can buy your way out again?”

Xuxi fell silent. Ten scoffed, “I’ve been so stupid, I should have known you were just like every other spoiled rich boy.”

“That’s not why I buy things for people,” Xuxi said gently. Sure, it was convenient to have enough money for them. But if he couldn’t find the words to express himself, if he was too stupid to just say how he felt, it was  _ something. _

“Don’t patronize me, Xuxi. I’ve seen your grades, you aren’t smart enough for that.”

Xuxi sat with his mouth agape. Ten felt the knife in his ribs twist a little deeper, turning in a direction he wanted nothing to do with. He was just a child. A pouting, whining baby brought into the game with no sense of strategy. He was just mimicking every move his father made, and soon he’d be playing the exact same way. No matter how innocent or small he tried to make himself, he was already down the path. It wasn’t Ten’s job to fix him.

He slung his bag over his shoulder, and Xuxi looked up at him with face still full of confusion. Ten sighed, gathering the bits of himself back up, and glancing around the room one more time. He saw a flash of leopard print and closed his eyes to it. It looked so cheap and tacky amongst the white linen sheets of Xuxi’s bed.

“We’re done here,” Ten whispered. He walked out of the room.

It took Xuxi a clumsy second to unfurl his legs from under the table once he realized what was happening. Ten was unusually fast, and was already halfway down the steps by the time Xuxi got to his door. “Ten-ge, wait! Where are you going?” Ten didn’t answer, his short legs quickstepping across the foyer. Xuxi thundered down the stairs three at a time. “Can you please just talk to me? Ten!”

Chief Huang appeared from his study, Xuxi’s mother close behind. “What the hell is all this racket?” He boomed. Xuxi didn’t look back. He caught Ten just before the door, and grabbed him by the arm.

“Let go of me!” Ten yelped. He tried to jerk his arm back, but Xuxi was too strong. His thumb was pinching a nerve, and it made his eyes sting. He whipped back towards the door, still pulling at Xuxi’s hold. If he got a good grip on Xuxi’s wrist and took a small step back, he could easily flip the boy. But how much time would that buy him? How much time would he have before the guards stationed at either side of the door took him down? If he made it out of the house, how much time until they hunted him down like a dog? Would Xuxi try to stop them?

The echoing creak of the giant doors interrupted his thoughts. Xuxi was distracted enough for Ten to finally pull loose and head for his escape. But a contingency of men blocked his way, guards almost indistinguishable from the ones already lining the walls. Ten could tell the difference, though. In the color of their shirts, the tattoo ink flirting with the edge of their suit cuffs. Their guns.

A stoic woman strode through the door. She was short and slightly stout, but her posture, heels, and high quaff of hair made her seem like a giant. She surveyed the foyer like she owned it, her berry red lips slightly pursed. She saw Ten and the small purse turned into a tight smile.

“Who are you?” Xuxi asked, dumbstruck. Ten stopped in his tracks, hands clenched on his bag. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screenshot flashes, montage music plays, credits roll*


	18. Quick Fic Update!

Hey guys! 

Thank you so much for sticking with the story so far. I had no idea it would gain this sort of following, and I'm incredibly grateful! 

This is NOT the end of the fic. I am NOT abandoning this fic. However! I will be taking a short hiatus from updating. I want to take some time on outlining and character work before I move into the other chapters. 

I know I left you on a huge cliffhanger, so don't worry! I will pick up right where we left off once I solidify my plans. 

Let me know in the comments if you guys have any questions about the kids or plot. I'll do my best to answer them! You can also ask me questions or just come hang out with me on my tiny twitter @stanwithyams. I always follow back :3

Again, thank you so much for all your support. 

All my love,  
-M


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